By Paula Spencer Scott, Caring.com contributing editor
Caring for an aging parent or other loved one in your home usually begins with the best of intentions. Over time, however, a good thing can disintegrate into a tough, tense situation. Knowing the top trouble spots can help you make changes that can delay or avoid the need to move on to out-of-home placement.
Here are five big "sore points" that undermine family caregiving -- and what to do about them:
Sore point #1: Lack of privacy
Everyone in a caregiving family needs privacy -- the freedom to exist in their own space. This is often not recognised or felt as much in an Asian concept
Sore point #2: Ignoring sleep deprivation
The common scenario: The live-in elder's sleep-wake cycle gets mixed up. This disrupts the sleep of the caregiver, who's already burning the candle at both ends to manage everyone's needs. This lack of sleep then imperils the caregiver's mental and physical health
Sore point #3: Lone-soldier syndrome
Caregivers too often fall into "lone-soldier" mode thinking without even realizing it. Feeling responsible for a loved one, they assume the full burden, marching forward without regard to their own emotional needs. Eventual result: one badly wounded soldier who's not much good to anyone.
Sore point #4: Not anticipating what's coming next
Like firefighters, caregivers tend to stomp out one flaring crisis after another. Unfortunately, it's an exhausting way to live and fuels the stressful feeling that your life is at the mercy of an unpredictable force in your home.
Sore point #5: Overwhelming care tasks
Perhaps the most difficult home-care deal-breakers are practical matters that go beyond the caregiver's ability to manage. Chief among these: incontinence, heavy lifting, wandering behaviorsin someone with dementia. Both urinary incontinence and fecal incontinence, for example, are among leading causes of nursing-home placement. A small or frail wife of a big man who needs help is another tough scenario.
For tips and suggestions on how to deal with these issues, please read https://www.caring.com/articles/caregiver-issues
