Skip to main content
Submitted by PatientsEngage on 30 August 2017

Dr Avinash Joshi, a psychiatrist, has set up a marriage bureau for people with psychiatric and physical disabilities in the hope of providing them not just a soul mate, but also helping build a relationship on trust .

You have started a marriage bureau for people with psychiatric and physical disabilities, the first of its kind in India. What spurred you to set up this unique initiative?

I have set up a matchmaking site called, manomarriage.com for people with psychiatric and physical disabilities. It helps those with mental illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder to find a life partner. All candidates on our site voluntarily declare their illness so that the marriage can be solemnized with full understanding and reasonable expectations, to avoid future disappointments and suffering to both families. Both parties enter into the alliance with full knowledge about each other’s condition. This minimizes discord and ensures a higher degree of success in the marriage.

The marriage bureau is an offshoot of your earlier creation, the ‘Brain Garden’, another first in India. Could you tell us a little bit about it?

I was deeply inspired by the "Rock Garden" of Chandigarh. I thought why not replicate the idea by creating a museum of the brain and mind. The Brain Garden opened in Nagpur shows all facets of the brain like its anatomy, physiology, psychology, psychiatry, neurology, neurosurgery, parapsychology, philosophy, sexuality and spirituality. Starting from the history of psychiatry and barbaric methods of treatment of psychiatric illnesses, the journey travels through evolution of the thought process of mankind to the modern knowledge about brain and mind. Neurological problems from headache to brain tumors and psychiatric problems ranging from anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) to schizophrenia, are explained in simple language. The effect of mind and brain on physical illnesses and vice versa has been extensively dealt with. The marriage bureau is an extension of the brain garden.

Do you think Mano Marriage will help people with mental challenges lead a more meaningful, complete life?

The main purpose of any marriage is companionship, security, comforts of home, emotional support and caring and sharing for each other, and sex and children. The sexual desire in any person is natural and understandable. Everybody has a birthright to marry and have a family life. But concealing the psychiatric or neurological problems in the boy or girl before entering wedlock is the commonest reasons for divorce in such marriages. Many a times, treatment is stopped after marriage leading to relapse. Those who continue treatment surreptitiously are under constant pressure. Perhaps, this is a better way of their rehabilitation, two families sharing the load of disability with full transparency, preventing future legal battles.

Parents of sons and daughters having serious psychiatric or neurological problems also wish to get their wards married off somehow or the other for various reasons. The commonest reason being the strong cultural belief that the ward will improve after marriage. The parents are also worried about the future of their wards after their death.

Do you think there is still a stigma attached to mental disorders?

Yes, unfortunately it is still widely prevalent. In fact, one of the commonest reasons for divorce is having a mental or neurological disorder in either of the couple, especially with the wife. In our society, the women tend to tolerate psychiatric disorder in their husbands, maybe due to various cultural, psychological, social, financial and family reasons but not vice versa

Have you had any cases where the partner concealed their problem?

Yes. A few years ago, a girl in her early twenties was brought to my clinic. She had symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia. With some counselling and treatment, she started improving within 6 months. When she turned 25, her parents wanted her to get married, and they consulted me for it. I made it very clear that that her treatment should continue and her mental history should be fully disclosed to the groom’s family. But my advice was not heeded. The girl discontinued her medicines and, fearing rejection, did not disclose anything to the prospective groom. As expected, her psychiatric problems surfaced after marriage, and she was divorced and thrown out of the house.

Is the marriage bureau only for those who have mental health problems?

It is essentially for those with mental health issues. But we also accept applicants with other disabilities like physical, neurological, sexual, reproductive, or the person may be a divorcee, widow or widower. If two people can share their disability or their hardship with knowledge and understanding, there will be greater compatibility. The bureau recommends that two persons with mental disorders should avoid getting married, but a combination of psychiatric disability and physical disability would be desirable.

How does the website work?

The applicants have to register online, but with the certification from their treating doctor. It is expected of the patient to make a complete disclosure of their medical history, including handicaps. The website then verifies each of these applications and checks for cases of frauds. Even those having physical challenges, like visual handicap and skin diseases, can register on this site. In fact, a person without any illness can register if s/he has no qualms about marrying someone with a condition. The treating doctor is invariably involved for further counselling for opining on the suitability of the boy or girl while match making.

Today, there are many couples who met through Mano Marriage living healthy, productive lives and ensuring that they take treatment.

Could you give some cases which have resulted in successful marriage?

Yes. We’ve had a boy who was being treated for paranoid schizophrenia and unable to get married. Finally, through our site, they found a suitable alliance with a girl who had reproductive problems.

How many people have registered on manomarriage till now?

So far we have had 45 people register on our website. We get patients from across the country.

The matrimony site can be accessed at www.manomarriage.com