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Submitted by Val Resh on 8 October 2017

Reshma Valliappan, is a an artist-activist-author who believes her schizophrenia is an integral part of her identity. Here, she talks about her initiative, The Red Door, and the focus on the mental health of youth.

Tell us about your concept of The Red Door and its various initiatives with the youth?

The Red Door (TRD) is an initiative to create more awareness about issues of mental health in India. It is built on a simple concept of empowerment and inspiration through social media (blogs, Facebook and Twitter) and grassroot work. When we first started, there was no other platform or social media community addressing mental health. In fact, there was hardly anybody willing to join us in the beginning because of the stigma and discrimination that existed regarding mental health even amongst the youth. Nor was there any fund. Thus, we shifted our priority to  'How do we create more self-advocates for mental health?'

I realised that I cannot go about creating such individuals; the process had to be more organic. The best way would be to open doors, enable ideas to be brainstormed while addressing issues of mental distress in our events. Our outreach program was designed for the disadvantaged and marginalized groups: boys who had run away from home or were facing domestic and other violence, girls working towards their education and empowerment, college students from reputed universities, persons living with a mental illness and their caregivers, kids with autism and learning disabilities, LGBTQ, etc. But we were not able to make much headway with our events.

My personal work such as ‘my mime ego, my martial artist ego, my healer ego, my writer ego, my artist ego’ fared much better. Maybe because I was so frank about my own mental health, that it helped people open up and share their condition. It comforted them to know that that they weren’t the only ones in pain. I began to be contacted by various organizations to run an event for them, speak to their students, give lectures, attend and address conferences. 

During my Ashoka Fellowship interview I was asked how I envisioned TRD 10 years from now (2014). I said that I would like to start TRD clubs in school, and work with kids to spread our message of compassion, care and community as early interventions in mental health care. Kids are especially dear to me because in all of my years being 'schizophrenic' they were the only ones who offered non-judgemental attitudes. To me these little moments I've spent with every kid, be it a family or stranger's kid, left a lasting imprint of hope in my system and I personally sought out these qualities of 'innocence and non-judgemental acceptance'.

Why do you focus on the youth?

Because they are the future. Caregiver groups often ask 'What would happen to my kid after I go' and my answer was 'Don't make them dependent on you then, teach them early about independence and co-dependence, empower them knowing you are there for them to make their mistakes and learn from it so that they can take care of each other'. I can't address a caregiver's current dilemma of their kids who are likely in my age group since the mental, emotional, spiritual, social, physical, environmental logistics are very different, but I could perhaps address the next generation's dilemma earlier.

What are the common threads you find in the communities and groups of youth you work with - the stressors, the pressures, sense of entitlement?

The stressors are all nearly the same: one of fast answers, fast lives, fast everything. This is largely because of social media and phones. Often we've had to tell the kids in school to stop living their relationships on their phones and learn to have patience if someone doesn't message or reply in time. This simple concept is not understood by many youths. They can often be very demanding…when they need something at a particular time and if it isn't given or answered, it makes them anxious. Their minds are built around technology which is a huge concern as everyone is having relationships with their Whatsapp or messages instead of the person.

The pressure to be better than their friends and the numerous comparisons made by their own parents is not something new in today's world. We've all had such pressures and comparisons and we've learnt to deal with it. The trouble arises when there's a sense of entitlement. From our numerous interactions with youth, we've seen they don't understand that dreams take time in building and it doesn't happen over a phone call, or a year even, but it takes a lot of perseverance, determination and the ability to stand up after falling many times in order to make their dreams come true.

There is also the trouble of economic and educational backgrounds. I found that kids in the community knew how to appreciate another person or an act of kindness because they didn't have it easy. Their understanding of life wasn't measured on English and so they valued their lessons faster with humility and respect. Whereas when we interact with English speaking kids and youth, they're always up for an argument or they knew about something since they read it or watched it on YouTube. It's quite difficult to get through to them since they don't want to listen as they seem to know everything by the click of a button.

There is a lot of talk and concern about the emotional health of youngsters and the increasing susceptibility to mental illnesses and suicide. Are we missing resilience? Why?

Yes...because resilience comes with learnt patience which we don't see amongst many people today. Technology and lifestyle has removed this trait. Just a simple thing like standing in line at the post office requires our minds to challenge itself on similar grounds and I've watched youngsters curse and abuse the world when they have to stand so long in queue while saying 'This would be easier if we can just put it on Facebook'. Nobody wants to wait.

Your thoughts on youngsters watching Netflix's '13 Reasons Why' that dramatizes suicide and playing the Blue Whale challenge.

Blue Whale challenge reminded me that such games existing even back in 1996 when internet had just entered India. I was part of a youth volunteer program on MIRC chat rooms and came across sexual predators who would find their ways in making a kid do things. These are realities that have always existed and aren't something new. What makes it prevalent today is the speed of our virtual world and youngsters trying to live their lives and dreams online instead of offline. It goes back to our minds being trained for immediate gratification – the desire to want things immediately, to fix a solution, dream, or suffering immediately.

How can the young be more supportive of each other?

By putting their gadgets away, walking up to a stranger and making conversation. Learning to keep friends and not being reluctant to make new ones because the previous one had issues.

Your message to the youth…

Rome wasn't built in a day and such is life. Try not to fix everything because we can't have it all. There's enough on this planet for each one of us and we don't need to fight for it. We're only humans and we share this beautiful space with other living creatures too. Whatever we do must carry a benefit for a larger purpose in kindness and compassion and not competition.

Your message to parents…

Stop trying to fix your kids, compare them or put them in competitions with each other. If you want your kid to be a topper, so will other parents but there's only room for one topper. Teach them to fall and be in pain with patience and ease while you are around so that they learn to teach the same to their children too. It's wiser to practice love and respect now instead of after you are gone.

Your message to teachers…

Thank you! You need to be better paid and respected for I've learnt that none of my teachers ever underestimated me while the rest of the world did. As a teacher you know you've shared your knowledge and wisdom not just through books and you've taught your best which is why you wouldn't have to underestimate or overestimate your kids.

And to teachers from another spectrum - don't fix any kid or person. You have the power to break or build someone especially when the world offers an illusion of a teacher 'knows it all'. If you lose one kid you'll lose them all. A teacher is a person who comes second after a parent and it’s a huge deal.

Reshma Valliapan was born in Malaysia. She is an Ashoka Fellow, runs a community called The Red Door and has written a book "Fallen Standing" on her early experiences.