Like any young woman, Choo Peck See, 45, had dreamed of meeting the right person someday, settling down and starting a family of her own. It was a dream come true when she was called up to receive a kidney transplant and have a shot at a normal life. But life had other plans. Read on:
Bittersweet Sixteen
Mere months after completing her O-Levels and still finding her bearings in the aftermath of her mother's sudden stroke, Peck See herself showed symptoms of kidney failure. The poor appetite, anemia, swollen feet and eventually after a full blood test later, she was told she needed dialysis. She was only sixteen.
"Why me? That was the question I asked repeatedly when I first found out. People my age were out there having fun and enjoying their lives, but me?"
"I actually had all those symptoms back in school but we didn’t suspect anything. My parents just thought I was going through a dieting phase like other teenage girls," Peck See recounted.
Despite the initial shock, Peck See started on peritoneal dialysis, a considerably new form of treatment at that time, paying about $1,000 monthly. Her father, the sole breadwinner of the family, tirelessly fulfilled the role of a provider and dedicated caregiver to both her and her mother.
It was five and a half years later that Peck See was called up for a kidney transplant.
Switching Roles
In a cruel twist of fate, just nine months after Peck See transplanted, her father was diagnosed with cancer. Due to his illness, he had to quit his job as a police officer, halting all income in the household.
Peck See, whom herself was still recovering from the transplant, turned caregiver to her parents. She took on household responsibilities and learnt the ropes on how to care for her father and stroke-stricken mother, who had limited motor function and could not move without support.
When her father passed away five years later in 1997, Peck See took it upon her to fully dedicate herself to caring for her mother, now 65 years old and a stroke patient for the past 29 years.
Two Peas in a Pod
With birthdays just a day apart, Peck See and her mother share a very close bond and are practically inseparable. They spend almost every waking moment together, whether Peck See is doing the laundry or cooking, her mother is always just a head turn away.
"Even when I'm at the hospital for a few hours, I will call her and tell her where I am and how much longer it would take. I just want to talk to her and hear her voice," she says with a smile.
For a pair this close, the most heart-wrenching thing that could even happen is being apart.
In 2004, Peck See suffered a heart attack and had to be admitted into the hospital. She was initially reluctant as it meant leaving her mother alone at home. Her fears actualised when her mother was brought to another hospital that same day, as there was simply no one else to care for her.
"At that point, my only thought was that I had no one else in the world but my mother. My heart was literally torn into two! I was lying there while she was at another hospital despite not being ill," Peck See recounted, still visibly distressed by the memory.
Her mother was subsequently transferred to a nursing home as an interim arrangement while Peck See recuperated at home. For that short period, Peck See was a fixture at the nursing home, staying till the end of visiting hours every day.
And when she was alone at home, all she did was to stare blankly at the walls. It was all the more unfortunate that this happened during the Lunar New Year, which is all about family reunions.
Coming Full Circle
After a routine blood test this April, Peck See received a worried call from her doctor, informing her of the worst – she needed urgent dialysis. 22 years after her transplant, Peck See is now back to where she started.
"I hadn't really expected it, but I always knew my transplanted kidney might not last a lifetime. But to me it is quite simple, as long as I can continue to take care of my mother, nothing is a problem; I am willing to take whatever comes," said Peck See earnestly.
Nonetheless, the issue of dialysis fees weighs heavily on her mind. Having devoted all her time to caring for her mother, the household has zero income and no savings at all; they barely scrape by each month with help from their relatives.
With this added expense, Peck See is still figuring out how to cope. “If I scrimp on my groceries, I can probably still manage, but if I have to pay more than $100, I’ll have to eat white bread every day,” she half-jokingly says.
But does she regret choosing to devote herself to her mother over living her own life?
“I don’t regret it at all. So long as my mother is happy, I would be happy. My only regret is not taking care of my father well enough when he was ill, so now with my mother, I am giving it my all,” she says definitively.
The Kidney Dialysis Foundation Limited (KDF) is a non-profit charitable organisation which provides high quality, low-cost treatment to needy kidney patients in Singapore and is committed to preventing kidney diseases through public awareness and education. KDF is not affiliated to any other kidney foundation. Help patients like Peck See by making a donation via www.kdf.org.sg or https://www.giving.sg/kidney-dialysis-foundation today. Your contribution would be entitled to 2.5x tax deduction (only applicable for Singapore tax payers).
