As part of our Raksha Bandhan series, Pranav, 18, a young adult on the autism spectrum and his older sister Nikita, 22 reflect on their relationship and their times together - the fun times and the stressful times.
Nikita studied at Hindu College, Delhi University. She is pursuing Masters in Public Health in Sydney and plans a career in mental health and counselling.
Pranav is pursuing a multimedia course with AIMS. He plays golf, loves music and is a Radio One fan. An award winning photographer, he is the official photographer with Evoleur. He has walked the ramp, twice, for an international clothing brand and looks forward to ramp walks.
1. What games do you play together/ activities you do together?
Pranav: In my flashback, in 2002, I started going to play in R Block Park in GK I in the blue colour pram with Ma. Nikita went with me. I went till 2007. We played Hide and Seek in 2003 and Tippi Tippi Tap in 2004. We went on the slides and jungle gym. Merry go round made me and Nikita giddy so we didn't go on it. I ran around in the park with her. We also enjoyed splashing in the paddling pool in our house from 2002 to 2006. We enjoyed playing Dangerous Dave in 2005 and Cartoon Network Games and Super Mario in 2007 on the Samtron Desktop. We played with toys. We went for swimming and to the Children's Park. When we are grown up now, we chat a lot and I like to plan my thinking clouds with her. She always appreciates my things. And she tells me I am a super star.
Nikita: Pranav and I have always done things together. Am not blessed with a phenomenal memory like him but when I look back, I see happily juxtaposed images of both of us in his structured study room, our play room, in the parks, visiting places and simply enjoying our moments together. I do recall my moments of confusion and distress, too, as Pranav struggled with his challenges and I could not comprehend his behaviour. Our 'play' was also so directed sometimes and so Pranav-centred because there was always a skill or a behaviour modification involved but I soon picked up the ropes from Ma and became the second in command. I always adapted and adjusted but there are no misgivings! We grew up to be great friends and we love our own moments and chats together. We Facetime everyday and share our day to day things with each other. I love his diverse interests and am just so proud of him!
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2. How often do you both fight?
Pranav: I don't fight with Nikita because she loves me and I love her the most in the whole wide world.
Nikita: A fight with Pranav? Can't imagine that!
3. What is the most mischievous thing you have done that has annoyed your sis/ bro?
Pranav: In my flashback, in 2003, I used to chew all her Barbie dolls' feet and I used to scatter all her doll houses. Nikita used to feel upset. Now I think it was funny. On 12 June, 2005, Sunday, Mehek didi and Nikita were sleeping and I threw cold water on their faces and they woke up so shocked. In 2005, I told Ma to cut the rakhi Nikita had tied because I thought it was hurting and she had a sad face. In 2006, when Mohit sir was teaching dance to Nikita and her friends, I started to run around and disturb the class. Ma told me not to distract sir but I still did that.
Nikita: When it comes to mischievous things, I have been at the receiving end! Pranav's delightful flashback conversations and 'confessions' are sometimes a repertoire of 'naughty episodes' he regales me with, with all the apologies and regrets expressed so sincerely. He has the ability to reflect on the challenges that he has outgrown and that never ceases to amaze me. And it's so heartening to see this tantrum throwing little brat grow up to be a well turned out and handsome young man.
4. What about your sis/ bro annoys you most.
Pranav: Nothing.I love her so much.
Nikita: Nothing that he does can ever be annoying!
5. Do you get jealous that your sister/ brother receives more attention?
Pranav: Ma gives more time to me and less to Nikita. When she was going to Sydney Ma was spending so much time with her. I did not feel jealous. Ma is always with me and Nikita Facetimes me everyday. I was very concerned because she had a throat infection last week and I was asking her if she has gone to the MI Room in her University. When she was in Delhi, Ma said we can't have a dog because Nikita doesn't like dogs and I said fine.
Nikita: Well, in our growing years, Ma was there but never quite there as there was something pressing about Pranav always. She spoke to me a lot about how and why it was so and I accepted that gradually and we both became a team, Pranav's 'crazy fans' as we liked to tell him! Pranav has influenced and coloured with his uniqueness every aspect of my life, even my career choice and we are a regular brother and sister pair who love each other and are there for each other always in our own special way. And I just love us the way we are!
Read: What do Siblings of Children with a Condition Struggle With?
6. Share something about your special moments and the best gift you got.
Pranav: Before she went to Sydney, we went for movies and we both loved to eat in our favourite restaurants like Big Chill and Chillis and we did that on weekends.We also listened to Radio One together. Sometimes I tell her about the release dates of all the English songs and she tells me its amazing and I feel happy.We love to travel together and spend time on the beaches. When Nikita was in Delhi she gave me nice birthday gifts like cars and lego blocks. She says she will get me a nice gift from Sydney. I miss her a lot. I am also going to visit her in Sydney. I am glad that she will come home in December. I want to go to Goa with her and enjoy on the beaches. Ma will tie rakhi for me because she is in Sydney. I will Facetime with her and wish her Happy Rakhi.
Nikita: All moments that I have spent with Pranav are special because he is. And all gifts from Pranav are priceless. We have always exchanged gifts on birthdays and festivals and have shared the excitement of opening our gifts on Christmas mornings!
7. What is the best thing that you like about your sister/ bro?
Pranav: Nikita is very nice. She is patient and loving and caring. And she is beautiful.
Nikita: Everything! His ability to overcome so many challenges and live with so many is inspiring. His gentleness and his love for fitness and golf, music and photography, travel and the ramp walk is so amazing!
8. Did you ever feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about your sibling? How did you handle it? And what did you learn from it?
Nikita
We are like any brother sister duo but of course we have traversed a lot of spaces, situations and crises to be in the absolutely comfortable zone that we are in. Yes, initially, his tantrums at transitions, his hyperactivity, his sensory challenges and his aggressive episodes were stressful but my initiation into the world of autism ensured that everything started to make sense. Whenever I had to deal with his challenges, there was mindfulness about how it was his 'autism' and not him.
By the time Pranav stepped into his teens, we told him about his 'autism' as his 'superpower'. I had an established belief that it is, indeed, his superpower. And what I have learnt is acceptance and unconditional love. And that his neurodiverse path will be different and yet so unique. And I would never want our lives to be any other way.
