Minakshi Ray on her battle with breast cancer and what it took to win.
“Life is like a game in the boxing ring. Defeat is not declared till you refuse to get up”
The line pretty much defines me – I am generally known as a very positive person among my friends and family and staunchly believe that the Almighty helps those who decide to help themselves!
On a cold January morning last year, the doctor handed over the biopsy report of the breast lump to my husband with a little hesitation. The report concluded that it was Stage 2A cancer and it put to rest the anxiety and agony we had been going through since I’d discovered the lump on my left breast.
Well, the disease is still widely believed to be a killer and it takes a lot of courage and strength to accept the condition. I was not an exception... but was there any other option for me other than fighting the menace, given the fact that I am mother to two very young adorable kids, I have a wonderful husband, I have worried parents and mom-in-law back home and I am blessed with a few loving and caring friends?
I decided to fight.
I have never asked my Almighty, “Why me?” Instead of cribbing and crying, I counted my blessings during the somewhat painful journey.
I was more than delighted when a very handsome surgeon greeted me with an infectious smile on my first visit to the Cancer Research Center of American Hospital in Dubai and I insisted that I must be sent to an equally handsome oncologist! Those two angels and the nurses in the Oncology clinic took care of me like God-sent angels. I felt blessed!
The husband tolerated all my tantrums during the treatment period with a gentle smile on his face. During each chemotherapy session, I used to shop like a maniac online, sitting on my hospital bed, thinking that it would distract me from whatever I had to endure. He would type in his credit card number after each shopping session with an indulgent smile on his face. The kids grew up overnight and took care of my small needs like professional caregivers. Parents descended on Dubai, all the way from my hometown, and mom was busy almost 24/7 in the kitchen to satiate my chemo-ridden taste buds. Mom-in-law kept a tab on me (practically) over the telephone about whether I was taking adequate fluids as advised by the oncologist. I felt blessed!
Friends here in Dubai rallied behind me with their short and sweet phone calls, messages and surprise visits. Just to lift my spirit, they organised umpteen numbers of coffee mornings / evenings, keeping in mind my chemotherapy schedules. I felt blessed!
My colleagues sent to the hospital, a huge bouquet of pink tulips and a handmade Get Well soon card on the second day of surgery. The HR Manager had attached a small note to the card, “We would love to see you back in the office ASAP”. I went back to work and took care of important projects even when I was going through chemotherapy sessions. Project deadlines had been adjusted according to my chemotherapy sessions. I felt blessed!
I never saw myself as a patient, rather I loved to think of myself as a warrior and the victory at the end was the only incentive for me to keep up the smile and fight on. The only time I cried during this whole ordeal was when I started losing my hair – long, thick and shiny as silk! The pain was somewhat reduced when the insurance company reimbursed the cost of a very expensive and fashionable wig that I had ordered for myself. I accumulated a neat stack of beautiful scarves to match my outfits and learnt to tie a scarf from one of my Arab colleague. My wigged look or scarved look received plenty of compliments to my surprise. I now flaunt a stylish short haircut and people love it as much as I love it. I stocked up my cosmetic cabinet with lipsticks and eyeliners of all shades and even attended a make-up session organised by L’Oreal at the hospital! A pop of colour on my lips, a thick line of eye-liner, a dab of blusher and a colourful scarf – I never looked so beautiful in my life!
There is no denying the fact that side effects of chemotherapy are terrible – nausea, exhaustion, mouth ulcers, muscle pain, irritability and what not. I have never allowed all of these to take over my positivity. It was a perfect example of ‘mind over body’. I have only listened to my oncologist and no one else. I did not go to Google search, even once, to search up information on cancer. As my doctor said, “it is a very personalised experience. Not necessary that each patient will go through the same set of side effects.”
I am still on medication (Hormone Therapy) and go for routine check-ups, certain tests (clinical and diagnostic) but the experience is a life-changing one! My advice to all who are currently undergoing treatment:
Do not give up. Positivity and the will to fight back give more power to the medicines.
Never believe what people have to say (even if they claim to have first-hand, secondary or tertiary experience).
Surround yourself with people who add to your positivity.
If there is any cause for concern, consult a doctor without much procrastination. Do not ignore, please. Regular check-ups may help detect cancer at an early stage, which increases the curability drastically.
Keep yourself active, physically and mentally; that helps you recover faster.
Maintain a healthy lifestyle – that discounts occurrences of many diseases.
Whether you crib and bear or you bear with a smile, the pain and suffering remain the same. The smile on your face amid the worst pain lights up a thousand smiles on the faces of people who love and care for you.
Hence, see yourself as a fighter, smile and win the battle!!
