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Submitted by Pranab Basu on 10 July 2018
An elderly and spectacled couple Mr Pranab Basu in a blue striped shirt with his wife in an orange blouse and a cream sari

Mr Pranab Kumar Basu shares his experience of being the sole caregiver of his wife, who had metastastic colon cancer, and how he succeeded in keeping her mentally strong and cheerful till the end.

I have been the sole caregiver for my wife who was suffering from cancer. My wife was under the treatment at the Tata Memorial Hospital, Mumbai, from July, 2015. She battled for nearly 2 years and 6 months. She finally succumbed to it in October 2017. She was a victim of metastatic colon cancer.

The Beginning

In February, 2015, she had an attack of UTI with bleeding and abdominal pain. In June she was diagnosed with cancer and the histopathological report showed that it was high grade cancer. My caregiving started from that moment. I had to console her, so I tried to comfort her by telling her that it was like any other disease. The treatment started with surgery and chemotherapy. She was strong enough to withstand chemotherapy. I encouraged and supported her efforts to share her emotions and thoughts. The caregiver should always monitor the patient's mental condition. When the patient is mentally upset, counselling, chatting, and listening to what is troubling her, will more often than not get her out of despair, which is very important. The patient should be kept cheerful so that he/she can battle out the long procedure of cancer treatment, which is what I tried to do as well.

The Treatment

The Medical oncologist of TMH,Mumbai prepared a protocol of chemotherapy which was administered in Kolkata by Dr Swarnabindu Bannerji, who was literally like an angel for me. Hats off to the doctors of TMH who have empathy ,sincerity, and medical ethics. On completion of four cycles of chemo, the response was positive and Dr Vikas Ostwal of TMH inspired the patient which boosted her mental strength considerably. She tolerated the side effects of chemotherapy and I took the advice of the oncologist over telephone and through emails. Once in 2016 she was admitted to the nursing home for critical infective colitis and Dr Bannerji took care of it very efficiently. I stayed with her then at the nursing home because a cancer patient needs good company to keep her going. On completion of eight chemo cycles, we both went to TMH for check up. It was observed that the disease had progressed. The medical board decided to go for a major high risk operation and called both of us for consent. The doctors on the board were astonished by the strong affirmation from both my wife and me that we had decided to opt for surgery. Honestly speaking, I left no stone unturned. The surgery took about ten hours and doctors of TMH were of the opinion that the operation was successful. The patient was inspired and as a caregiver I only ignited further hope in her. As a result, the doctors and nurses at the Tata Memorial Hospital were all pleased to see the smiling face of the patient.

The Relapse

After returning home, my wife was better for four months but then the disease aggravated and we went back to TMH. She was taken ill during the journey, and the situation was saved by my student Biplab Rudra from Bilaspur who arranged for the medicine at the right time. I will also remain grateful to Dr A.Sakhlani of Tata Memorial who replied to my email at 11pm, advising the requisite medicine, which helped us immensely.

My wife's report now showed that the disease was beyond medical treatment, as it had turned so aggressive that nothing could be done by an oncologist.

We returned home.The next phase was so tough that I couldn't leave her alone at all, because loneliness can be very depressing at this critical moment. I told her, "The disease is perhaps incurable but palliative medicine and supportive treatment will give you a good quality of life till the end”. She realized the truth of my words. She spent time listening to her favourable songs, as also reading story books. Probably she mentally prepared herself to take a voyage to the spiritual world and I sent her off on 17th October, 2017.

Palliative Care at the end

For the last one month, she was under palliative care which attempted to provide her a good quality of life and a dignified death. She went at peace, with contentment in her heart, and with the satisfaction that she couldn’t have asked for more as far as her treatment and caregiving were concerned. One day she even confessed that she was satisfied .I felt, this was my achievement as a caregiver.

After my wife passed away, I joined Eastern India Palliative Care, in Barrackpore, West Bengal. I have been entrusted with the task of counselling the patient and relatives. The terminal cancer patient needs psychosocial therapy from the beginning to the end to maintain the quality of life and manage to have a dignified death. I try to put myself in their shoes when I am counselling, which helps me to be more realistic.