Skip to main content
Submitted by PatientsEngage on 25 August 2015
A post it with coloured pencils arranged around it and full form of ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder written on the post it

Maveen Pereira is a mother of a young adult on the autism spectrum. She tells you what to do when your child seems to be acting out tantrums or seems to be out of control.

TANTRUMS:

1.       Be Prepared for one: It is important to know what triggers a tantrum, how long these normally last, how it is manifested (violence to self, violence to others, jumping,…), what would prevent one from happening (e.g. preparing the child for a change in the routine if change triggers a tantrum). The more we are prepared, the more confident we will be to deal with the episode.

2.       Stay Calm: Particularly if we are in a public place it can be fairly embarrassing and we tend to panic. If we stay calm we can deal with things better.  Often what is running in our minds is ‘what will people think?’ So let’s get that thought out of our minds and stay in the ‘present’ for our child.

3.       Move the Child away from a busy / crowded area:  This is a tough one if the child is strong, but try to do this – it will help to deal with it calmly too.  This will also ensure that the child is safe, and not in a position to hurt themselves or others.

4.       Give soft but firm instructions: Shouting will only intensify the tantrum.  Keep speaking quietly giving positive feedback. Some children tend to shut their eyes tight – try to get them to open their eyes, so they are more aware of the environment, make eye contact and can understand what is being said. All adults (parents, grandparents, teachers, guardians) need to have a consistent response or the child can play one against the other.

5.       A tantrum has a limited shelf life – it will pass:  Keep this at the back of the mind – it really helps to keep patient and stay positive. Our son’s episodes used to last 45 minutes (which seemed like 45 hours at the time!), but we could time it and felt comforted that there is an end.

 

HYPERACTIVITY

1.       Plan a routine for the child: Having a time table for each day of the week is important so the child is aware of what comes next 

2.       Short-timed activities to match his/her attention span: This is important so that the child does not get bored, which would start the restlessness. Know what s/he enjoys – this will add to the excitement of doing things and keep the concentration for longer.

3.       Sleep when the child sleeps: Physical activities are important to tire them out, so that they sleep. Parents with hyperactive children need to rest when they can. Some children (like my son) had very short sleeping hours, so if we did not sleep when he did, it would make us grumpy parents and prompt us to become impatient and that is a trigger for more negative behaviour.

4.       Keep visits to friends and other places short: It is hard meeting friends or to shop when we are worried about how our child will behave.  Having a hyperactive child reduces the quality time we have with friends.  So go accompanied, so that the other person can help give us a break so we can talk or shop peacefully. It is important to warn friends of our visits – so they are prepared too. Sometimes they may want to make the house child-friendly and keep breakable items out of reach.

5.       Work in partnership: Though it feels like something that never ends – I promise this will reduce as the child grows up. However, one of the things that has worked for us immensely is to have a partnership with school and other professionals who work with the child.  The strategy needs to be agreed and used consistently by all involved.

Condition

Stories

  • Children With Autism Can Perform In Commercial Theatre - A Director's Perspective
    Diana Tholoor, a Movement and Theatre trainer and Director of Plays recently worked with a cast of 50 children and young adults on the autism spectrum to mount a production of Jungle Book on stage. She shares her perspective in the second part of this interview series.  1.   Why theatre? How does theatre help children and adults on the autism spectrum? Theatre is an integrated art form that produces simultaneous results through a single production. Amongst the many alternate…
  • A young boy in a white shirt sitting on a cream coloured plastic chair
    Multi-disciplinary Interventions for A Child On Autism Spectrum - Video Case Study
    A video case study of Om Pawar, a young boy who is non verbal and has intellectual disability and how he has benefited from multi-disciplinary interventions including digital technologies and animal assisted therapy.  Children on the Autism Spectrum struggle with social communication challenges and challenging repetitive behaviours. For children like Om who have Intellectual Disability and who are on the Autism Spectrum, life is that much harder.  Om's journey has been fraught with…
  • 5 Lessons From A Young Adult On The Autism Spectrum
    Pranav Kumar Rajgopal is on the Autism Spectrum and works as a Business Analyst in a technology firm. He shares lessons he has learnt based on his experience. His advice to others on the autism spectrum and their parents.  1. Never force your children to do something they are not interested in doing. Every child is unique and special. They may have an interest in pursuing drawing, painting, and creative craftwork, or pursue hobbies and passions in music and dance. Autistic children may…
  • A young autistic boy on the left in a red shirt with his father in a striped blue and white shirt in a home balcony
    Close Encounters with Autism: A Dad's Journey Of Coming To Terms
    Ganesh Anantharaman reflects on his journey as a father of a teenager on the autism spectrum and coming to terms with the toughest question for an autism parent - What after us?  The toughest parenting question My son Ananth just turned 17. Each birthday, along with being a source of joy and celebration about how far he has progressed since his diagnosis and ongoing treatment from the time he was just 1.5 years old, is simultaneously also a source of many new questions and attendant…
  • "It Is Possible For Children With Autism To Perform Theatre On Stage"
    Sarbani Mukherjee Mallick Founder & Executive Director at Bubbles Centre for Autism in a detailed interview on the experience and learnings of putting together a full fledged stage production of Jungle Book with a cast of 50 children and young adults on the autism spectrum. Part 1 of a 2 part series. Why theatre? How does theatre help children and adults on the autism spectrum? One of the major challenges for children on the autism spectrum disorder is social skills. I use to…
  • A girl playing cymbals
    How Music Can Help Persons On The Autism Spectrum
    Dr. Megha Sharda shares insights on the impact of music on individuals on the autism spectrum based on a research project conducted at University of Montreal and McGill University. Tell us about your study on the impact of music on individuals on the autism spectrum. What kind of music was used? How did you select participants and remove bias in selection Music is an area of strength in individuals on the autism spectrum, but until now we did not have neuroscientific evidence supporting its…
  • A shopping assistant helping a blind shopper with a braille shopping list
    When a Store Welcomes Shoppers with Disability
    Retail giant Big Bazaar has opened its stores to persons with disabilities by introducing inclusion initiatives and infrastructural changes that are disabled-friendly. An interview with Vineet Saraiwalla, Inclusion Lead, Future Retail Limited, who has helmed the movement and himself has 90% visual impairment on what needs to be done behind the scenes to make this feasible. It is for the first time that Big Bazaar’s Republic Day sale had an exclusive 2 day preview in all its stores for…
  • Caesar the dog on the left playing with an autistic boy in shorts and vest
    How Our Dog Helped Our Son Engage With The World
    Rohini Subramanian Katriar shares the experience and benefits of bringing in a dog into the life of her son on the autism spectrum. Also, tips if you are thinking of bringing in a pet into your family. We are a family of 5 - 2 of us play acting as adults, 2 of us getting trained in being adults and 1 of us getting away with being a lazy dog!! Hail Caesar….. Caesar is our English labrador, part crazy, part sage and fully adorable. Our son is on the autism spectrum, which makes life fairly…
  • Play Should Be Accessible To Every Child
    Can you imagine a child who has never been to a playground or a park, never been able to swing or slide! For whom open play spaces are forbidding and unfriendly. Today, in India nearly all existing outdoor play spaces are built without keeping in mind the needs of a child with disability. Children with disabilities and developmental differences are forced to stay away from playgrounds because they are inaccessible, do not have appropriate facilities and play infrastructure for them. When…
  • Barnana with her son who is on the autism spectrum. Both are in orange and behind them are blurry reflections in the mirror
    "I Realised My Actual Strength Lies In Me, Not Elsewhere"
    Barnana Chakraborti was a successful professional before she gave it all up to devote full time to her son when he was diagnosed with autism. Her spirit and positivity are indeed something to learn from as she talks about how she overcomes emotional turmoil on a daily basis When did you first notice signs of autism in your son? It was just a month before my son was about to turn two that we visited a paediatrician for cold/ cough. As my child was not communicating in the conventional manner on…