74 year old Jacqueline Colaco, who has lived with Rheumatoid Arthritis for many years, shares her experience of dealing with Covid, Long Covid, dry eyes, hearing loss, fatigue and its impact on her overall health and quality of life.
My encounter with the Covid delta strain manifested one morning in January 2022, when I experienced acute weakness and a mighty cough. The nurse on duty at the Senior Citizen Home where I reside, immediately referred to my doctor, who advised immediate hospitalization. In six days, I was discharged from hospital on a protocol of medicines for the next month, including use of broncho dilators to treat the cough, which were to be slowly tapered off.I came home feeling a wreck with the incessant tiredness and fatigue. These lasted for two months during which period I restricted myself to my cottage, permitting only the nurse and caregiver, who fortunately wasn’t affected, to attend me.
Double Whammy After Covid
After two months, it seemed time to tackle the world again, but I, a normally outgoing people’s person, suddenly developed a social phobia manifesting as anxiety and nervousness, as my willingness to welcome visitors or attend social events sadly vanished into thin air. Apprehension at the smallest decisions terrified me. Completing the claim forms for medical insurance was onerous as side by side I began to experience a strain in my eyes, an aversion to bright light. The computer and TV screen strained me.
A visit to the ophthalmologist was puzzling. My vision power was the same as pre Covid, but apparently the dryness of my eyes, a side effect of Rheumatoid Arthritis, which I had managed comfortably for decades with artificial tear drops, had suddenly intensified. I was put on a vitamin supplement and went back for six monthly checks. The situation is stagnant, even after two years. Using my eyes is a struggle, especially being a voracious reader and off and on writer. In fact, brain fog also entered the domain, as I would struggle to churn out a customary article, that earlier was not a challenge. Thoughts had flowed! Suddenly they slowed. Looking into the glare of sunlight even with dark glasses is very uncomfortable. Likewise, at performances such as concerts, stage backdrop laser lights flashing before me, cause irritability. And dancing movements bring on a dancing eyes sensation!
Strangely, around the same time, my hearing too began to diminish, and I now using hearing aids. Better now, but nowhere near original sounds. This double whammy has dealt my equilibrium a severe blow. In addition, the tiredness continues, breathlessness begins even on walking about fifty yards, bouts of anxiety, palpitations or irregular heartbeats, sweating episodes have drained my confidence, my ability to commit to any task or programme in advance. Fortunately, my sleep and appetite are by and large as usual; sense of smell and taste continue to be sharp.
In desperation recently with my doctors permitting, I underwent cardio checks, blood and urine tests too. They were surprised at how ‘near normal’, the results were. Baffled as well, they decided to put me on a supplement of magnesium oxide for a month and to change my blood pressure medication. After a month, I can state that episodes are not as frequent, but by no means have they subsided, and my plight of being in disequilibrium often, still continues.
I understand that with newer and newer Covid variations surfacing, and being busy concentrating on these, researchers did not pay much attention to the plight of people who post Covid illness complained of the long-term episodes affecting them, by dismissing it as ‘something in the head’ to be self rid of through mental determination! Only sometime last year, did research gain greater importance in the realm of why random Covid sufferers were groping in the dark to combat this grey area of what made them experience something akin to black every day. Waking up to an unknown factor of which way the day would unwind. Apprehensive! Whether delivery from this disequilibrium will ever evolve through a resilient mind and body on its own or with medical assistance is yet to surface. Can only hope and strive to soon be rid of this malady that is mindboggling and energy sapping, malicious and mischievous, interfering and unpredictable, like a sword hanging over one’s ability to ease back into a normal life.
As I am ageing simultaneously chugging along at 74, drawing a fine line between the disequilibrium effect of long covid and the former can blur. It is however the sudden onset of mental, psychological and physical imbalances that strikes me as unusual.
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Adapting to the changes
Living on my own in a separate cottage on the campus, with a part time helper has forced me to somehow tackle daily home and garden management as I do not depend on the senior citizen home for either. This entails supervision and decision making about routine chores such as shopping, what to cook, house cleaning, managing money and financial matters, keeping accounts, tracking bills due and paying. Just have to go on as there is no alternative. Managing, but with sheer determination only. Luckily, the disequilibrium wanes somewhat by afternoon but troubling eyes are hard to cope with all day long. Fortunately, my time is my own now, so there's no rush, but I am a creature of routine, just a a bit slowed down.
Yes, my mood does swing from gentle acceptance especially of my helper/caregiver, to raging with frustration at some inconsequential irritant. I have explained to her that I don't feel like the enthusiastic person I was before, and to understand and assist me tide over this storm.
I confidently used to take my walker for a round in the mid-morning sun. With the difficulty in facing bright sunshine. I am reluctant to go alone and so seek her company by my side. When I walk to need to concentrate on not suddenly turning as it causes momentary dizziness. My decades of RA have caused stiffened degenerative joints and muscles, though I do exercise twice a day. However, the lethargic feeling that has engulfed me needs to be weeded out. I am trying but it is trying...the trying!
Similarly, I was always game for an outing but now am not quite unsure whether or not I can commit in advance to join friends. They are understanding enough to allow me to sneak in last minute.
Even when conversing with visitors, I do not relax in their presence. Earlier, I could spend hours chatting but now an hour or so fatigues me. Entertaining anyone these days is a tough call. Trying to fight all by doing bits and pieces of normal activity to the extent possible. At Christmas time, I made the effort to attend some family get togethers. Braced myself and went. Enjoyed and came home, conked.
Just living a day at a time.
