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Submitted by PatientsEngage on 9 September 2018
On the left is Yee Ling with her husband Yen-Lu Chow on the right. She is dressed in a black formal dress and he is wearing a black tuxedo with a white shirt. The background is red and shows some people blurred

...Life is precious - life is worth living."  reminds Yen-Lu Chow. When their son and only child Lawrence Chow ended his own life at the age of 26 after suffering for many years from manic depression, Yen-Lu Chow and his wife Yee Ling went beyond grieving and coping with the tragedy. They involved themselves in mental health initiatives in Singapore which have, in turn, given them a purpose in their lives.

Tell us about your mental health initiatives in Singapore.

Mental wellness is not just the absence of mental illness, but the attainment of happiness and wellbeing. Our mission is to transform mental wellness for the 21st century. We envision a world where mental illness is no longer stigmatized, and mental wellness is a top priority. We wish to empower young people on their mental wellness journey, to overcome life challenges, with an opportunity to fulfill their life potential thru the journey of self-discovery, healing and transformation. Over-The-Rainbow (OTR) in that sense is a one-stop hub for youth mental wellness.

One of our main initiatives is Circle-of-Care (COC). COC is the first system of its kind in the world to address the issue of mental wellness holistically and systemically, by taking a community-based approach. Healthcare professionals, wellness experts, and complementary practitioners all form a part of the COC ecosystem. The platform also features Guardian Angels, volunteers who are trained in the basic skills of mentoring, coaching, counselling, mindfulness and mental health first aid to support seekers on their mental wellness journey. At COC, a wellness seeker can get access to an abundance of self-help and self-healing resources, participate in wellness activities such as yoga, meditation, sound healing, and the creative arts, as well as get adopted by a Guardian Angel for ongoing support and guided healing – all from a single place.

Would you share what motivated you to embark on this journey.

Over-The-Rainbow was founded in loving memory of our son who ended his own life at the age of 26 after suffering for many years from manic depression. Deep in our hearts, we didn’t want what happened to us - the heartbreak of losing a child or a loved one to mental illness - to happen to any other parents, or any other human being.

What was the learning from your personal tragedy that allowed you to experience post traumatic growth

The ensuing days and weeks and months after our son’s passing was a very dark time for us indeed. But rather than heaping blame on ourselves and on each other – and pondering what should have been and what might have been – how we could have done things differently – regrets – which were easy to come by during those dark days – and which would have brought us to an even darker place – we decided to face the reality, to accept wholeheartedly our son's decision and our own fate, and to support each other. Early on, we realized also that perhaps that we are not alone – that he was not alone – that there are likely many other young people who suffer from depression or other forms of mental disorders. And we wanted to do something about it. So rather than focusing on our own grief, pain, sorrow, and suffering, we decided that we would instead focus our attention on others’ pain and suffering – and to try to alleviate that suffering. This was the beginning of our healing and transformation. And this was what our son would have wanted.

Based on your work over the last few years, what are the factors affecting youth mental health?

The factors comprise elements of nature and nurture. Some people are more predisposed to mental health conditions than others. Academic pressure, a one-size-fits-all education system, family relationships, societal pressure, lack of avenue and environment for expressing one’s authentic self and for unconditional support are all stressors that contribute to the state of mental health in Singapore.

Are the same factors at play for suicides ?

Yes, by and large. Persistent pressure and stress without light at the end of the tunnel and lack of avenue of self-expression, low self-worth and absence of hope for a better tomorrow all contribute to increasing suicide rates as well.

Are some children more susceptible to activities like "Blue Whale Challenge”

Indeed some are - especially the more sensitive ones, and those that exhibit a lack of self-esteem.

How can families, schools, friends help the young become more resilient? And when should they start?

I think *everyone* - all of us - can be more supportive of another - to help create a kinder, gentler and more inclusive world - by lending an active listening ear, non-judgmental mindset, understanding compassionate heart, and basically be there for another, with our full presence. This cannot start soon enough.

What can an individual do to become resilient?

Practice good self-care and mindfulness.

Any advice for someone considering suicide?

Things will get better - the sun will come out tomorrow. Life is precious - life is worth living.

Any suggestions for people trying to cope with a family member's suicide

We’ve had to deal with parents and friends of someone who had taken their own lives. Need to take time to grief. Be patient with your own grief recovery. But then try to find meaning in this tragedy.

By starting Over-The-Rainbow and other social initiatives to help young people and their families, we have found meaning and purpose in our own life. We hope others can do the same.

Over-The-Rainbow (OTR) is the mental wellness initiative of the WholeTree Foundation, the not-for-profit family foundation of Yen-Lu & Yee Ling Chow. Another useful link is Circle-of-Care