Author and writer Usha Jesudasan illustrates, with a parable of Chicken Little who believes the world is coming to an end, how illness related anxiety can get difficult. Here she offers some tried and tested tips that have worked for her to come out of this way of thinking.
A visiting friend sneezed and coughed around me. No, he wasn’t wearing a mask. I was a bit cross. I had kept myself safe through the two Covid waves and strictly followed safety measures. I live alone, and were I to fall ill, the responsibility of caring for me would fall on my son, who is already overworked as a trauma surgeon. A couple of hours after my guest left, I too sneezed and sneezed. An hour later, was it my imagination or did my throat feel really itchy? I took myself off to bed, with a mug of hot lemon and honey, but couldn’t sleep. I checked my temperature. It was normal. I checked the pulse metre – that too was normal. I tossed and turned unable to sleep. Why am I so scared, I scolded myself? I had reason to be. I had been in the presence of someone who sneezed. He could have been carrying a Covid infection. I did not want to get infected and go down that path of illness.
Becoming a nervous wreck
Fear of sickness and disease can be a greater killer than any disease itself. Today the Covid pandemic has brought all kinds of fears into our lives. For a long period we were under lockdown. Then, we didn’t like anyone visiting us. Or touching us. Or touching anything we used. Vegetables were vinegar washed. Surfaces were sterile cleaned. Using a mask and sanitizing our hands every time we came into contact with someone became a necessary lifestyle habit. Underlying these safe health practices was the nagging fear, ‘What if I catch something infectious in spite of all these precautions?’
All of us from time to time live with such fears. Sometimes we have reason to be because we have been through the painful experience of an illness which has left its scar on us.
Seven years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I still wake up remembering the nightmare of tests and treatments, the sitting outside waiting rooms in a gown that barely covered me. Today, you are cancer free, says my surgeon. Stay with your medication and you will be ok, says my oncologist. Sometimes, when I’m not feeling my best self there is always that nagging fear - Is there an evil little cell lurking somewhere within me? When will it surface to ruin my life again? When I can’t sleep at night, I look for bumps and lumps, and of course this makes falling asleep more difficult. Over a period of time, I realized that my clothes were ‘sort of hanging on me’. Nothing seemed to fit me anymore. My face seemed thinner in photographs. ‘Well, I am getting older,’ I said to myself. One day, I stood on my weighing scales and was shocked. I had lost three kilos. That explained why my clothes were so loose. I equated cancer with loss of weight. Was the cancer back? That icy claw of fear tightened around my heart again. I couldn’t read that day; music just washed over me; I watched a film and couldn’t remember what it was about. Finally I shared my fears with my brother. Calming, comforting words of reassurance came my way. ‘Your recent tests and scans were all normal, so why are you so afraid?’ he asked.
Putting his arm around me, he said, ‘I can understand that from time to time, you will panic because of what you have been through. But don’t let the fear of what may not be, eat up your day.’ He reminded me of a childhood story - that of Chicken Little. ‘The sky is falling, the sky is falling,’ Chicken Little went around crying in fear of what may happen, scaring everyone else around him too. Do you want to be like Chicken Little? ’ he asked. I had to laugh.
Sometimes the fears can be a phobia and in our minds only. All our focus rests on only what we think might be wrong with us, and this can take away our peace and joy.
Here are some of the tried and tested approaches that have worked for me when I have been in Chicken Little mode!
- Focus on something beyond ourselves.
- Spend time looking at Nature, whether it is moon and star gazing, or looking at trees or just clouds floating by – there is something very healing in Nature.
- Having a vase of fresh flowers nearby is a spirit lifter.
- Music often calms the ragged soul.
- Have a chat with your closest friend and listen to her woes, instead of telling her yours.
- Make something with your hands to give away - it could be a painting/a delicious dish/a poem, a bookmark.
- Feed the birds and put out a dish of water for them.
- Look through old photographs and remember the good days with your sibling/ parents/ uncles/ aunts/ it is akin to counting your blessings!
- Do something kind for someone you don’t know very well - a security guard/ someone else’s helper/the man operating the lift/ the girl at the supermarket till.
Usha Jesudasan is a prolific writer of inspirational books and articles about life and values, embracing a Zen outlook and path to happiness.
She has written previously:
7 Tips for living with Chronic Illness
When you accompany someone to the hospital
Don't let the pandemic drown you in despair
Choosing Joy in the Darkest Hour
