Skip to main content
Submitted by PatientsEngage on 27 November 2014
A man in a suit and with his work bag, sitting on steps, looking downwards and worried

Kam Gillar, Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist, helps you cope with easy strategies. Plus, how to stop the negative chatter in your head.

Feeling low, worried, negative? The following strategies will help you cope better and put the spring back in your step. 

1. Take time-out

Practice slow, relaxed breathing, listen to music, meditate, get a massage, or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem helps to calm your mind. Start to form a habit of finding even 10 minutes of time-out for yourself every day. Once this becomes routine, you will find yourself simply taking time-out naturally every day. This will help you stay relaxed, calm and focused. 

2. Eat well-balanced meals.

Do not skip any meals. Keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. See our stress-relieving food tips.

3. Limit alcohol and caffeine.

Caffeine and alcohol are known to aggravate anxiety and trigger panic attacks.

4. Get enough sleep.

When you are feeling stressed, anxious or depressed, your body needs additional sleep and rest. If you have difficulty falling asleep, a regular bedtime ritual will help you wind down and prepare you for bed. This ritual depends on what works for you, but the most important thing is working out a routine and sticking to it. A bedtime ritual teaches the brain to become familiar with sleep times and waking up times; it programmes the brain and internal body clock to get used to a set routine.

Winding down is an important stage in preparing for a good night’s sleep. There are many ways of relaxing:

  • A warm or cool bath will help your body reach a temperature that's ideal for resting and sleep.
  • Writing a "to do" list for the next day can organise your thoughts and clear your mind of distractions.
  • Relaxation exercises, such as light yoga stretches, help to relax the muscles. Don't exercise vigorously, as it will have the opposite effect.
  • Reading a book or listening to the radio relaxes the mind by distracting it.

5. Exercise daily to help you feel good.

Even 20 minutes of exercise a day can release feel-good hormones and maintain your health. 

6. Take deep breaths.

Simple relaxing breathing, just inhale and exhale slowly to a count of 5 and repeat.

7. Count to 10 slowly.

When things get too difficult or you find yourself becoming more and more anxious, count to 10 (or 20 if necessary), take slow deep breaths and find yourself become more present in the here and now. 

8. Learn what triggers your anxiety.

Is it work, family, school, or something else you can identify? Write in a journal when you are feeling stressed or anxious, and look for a pattern. This will help identify what your triggers are when you become anxious or stressed and will help you manage the situation, calmer and stress-free. 

9. Accept that you cannot control everything.

Put your anxiety in perspective: Is it really as bad as you believe it to be, can you look at things differently?

10. Smile. A good laugh goes a long way.

11. Maintain a positive attitude.

Try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. (Scroll down to see how)

12. Talk to someone.

Tell friends and family you’re feeling overwhelmed, and let them know how they can help you. Talk to a physician or therapist for professional help.

Ways to challenge negative thinking:

  • Think outside yourself. Ask yourself if you’d say what you’re thinking about yourself to someone else. If not, stop being so hard on yourself. Think about less harsh statements that offer more realistic descriptions.
  • Allow yourself to be less than perfect. Many people suffering from depression are perfectionists, holding themselves to impossibly high standards and then beating themselves up when they fail to meet them. Battle this source of self-imposed stress by challenging your negative ways of thinking.
  • Socialise with positive people. Notice how people who always look on the bright side deal with challenges, even minor ones, like not being able to find a parking space. Then consider how you would react in the same situation. Even if you have to pretend, try to adopt their optimism and persistence in the face of difficulty.
  • Keep a “negative thought log". Whenever you experience a negative thought, jot down the thought and what triggered it in a notebook. 

Review your log when you’re in a good mood. Consider if the negativity was truly warranted. Ask yourself if there’s another way to view the situation. 

If your physical and emotional symptoms continue to leave you overwhelmed and interfere with regular life, do consult a doctor.

Stories

  • Image of a person in a checked shirt with his head on the table. Text on blue strip overlay: Understanding PTSD
    How To Spot Signs of Trauma After a Disaster
    And ways you can help someone dealing with Post Traumatic Stress. By H'vovi Bhagwagar, a Clinical Psychologist specialising in trauma therapy. 1.   Are some groups of people more prone to stress and anxiety after a disaster like floods? People with a current ongoing stressor (divorce, death, financial loss) etc People with past history of trauma (childhood trauma, survivors of previous accidents/riots/sexual assaults etc) People with previous history of mental illness or current…
  • Image Description: Stock pic of a black haired woman on the left in a pink shirt supporting a young blond haired woman in a blue, red and white checked shirt on the right whose back is visible to us
    Sensitive Interventions To Prevent Youth Suicides Can Begin In Early Childhood
    Dr Neena David, a Clinical Psychologist, emphasises the importance of developing positive coping skills, a sense of resilience and a growth mindset among adolescents and teenagers as they have long term positive mental health outcomes and stave off suicidal tendencies. You have many years of experience in setting up processes for school mental health programmes. What changes did you need to bring about in your programmes over the years? I am not sure I understand this question- ‘your programmes…
  • Stock pic of a young girl child with blond hair hugging her mother holding her face and feeling depressed. Image is respresentational only
    Depression In Parents Of Children With Special Needs: How To Cope And Build Resilience
    Parimal Pandit, Clinical Psychologist and Program Director, V-Excel Educational Trust Chennai describes the signs of depression to watch out for, how fathers and mothers react differently and how a special needs family can build resilience. 1.  A journey of a special needs parent goes through many ups and downs. What are the stages at which parents are most vulnerable? (Are these different for a mother v/s a father) When a child is diagnosed with a chronic condition or a…
  • Image description: Partial picture of a person on a wheelchair being pushed by a carehver
    "I Realized I Had A Lot To Offer The World"
    Dr Divya Parashar Head of Rehabilitation Psychology at Indian Spinal Injuries Centre narrates what helped one of her patients, who was paralyzed waist down, come out of his self-imposed exile at home to face the world in a wheelchair.  “I don’t want to be seen in a wheelchair, and you can do nothing about it,” said a very determined Deepak (name changed to protect privacy), sitting in my office. A fever had rendered him paralyzed from waist down three years ago. Every morning, he would…
  • Image Description: A head shot of Mr. Akhileshwar Sahay with spectacles as he shares his experience of living with Bipolar, Depression and COPD
    Bipolar or COPD - Never Lose Hope
    And QUIT SMOKING. Akhileshwar Sahay, a seasoned industry veteran, has been living with bipolar disorder for the last 2 decades. In this interview, he talks about his troubled journey with multiple chronic illnesses including COPD, Depression, Diabetes and his commitment to removing stigma related to mental illness.  How did your bipolar disorder start? What were the early symptoms? Bipolar disorder is not like influenza that it is diagnosed at once. Its roots are biological and I was…
  • Image Description: An elderly person with a walker and supported by a caregiver
    12 Confusing and Overlapping Symptoms in the Elderly
    Symptoms like weight loss, memory loss, weakness, and fatigue should not be mistaken as a sign of the"normal aging" process. Dr. Shital Patel explains 12 common but misleading symptoms in the elderly and why you should seek a doctor's opinion instead of ignoring them.  Symptoms in the elderly can have very different causes than they may have in a young person. Many symptoms in the geriatric population may be masked by concurrent chronic ailments, injuries, age-related physiological…
  • "Therapy Helped Me Manage Social Anxiety"
    When a socially active person like Sharmada started avoiding her friends, she knew she had a problem. Sharmada shares her experience with Social Anxiety and how she learnt to deal with it.  At some point in our lives, most of us have dealt with anxiety, or simply put - the hesitation in interacting with a group of people. These could be situations at work, in social circles or even within families that act as triggers, making one feel nervous or uncomfortable. Usually, such situations…
  • Image: Vidya, with spectacles and black hair holding a black and white on her left shoulder
    My Life With Depression - Don't Give Up, Don't Give In
    Vidya Heble has been a journalist for more than 30 years, and now writes and edits from her home near Mumbai which she shares with several cats. She shares her daily battle with depression and suicidal thoughts for over a decade and the stereotypes and stigma associated with it.  Wrath and tears, that is how it started. Sadness, feelings of desperation alternating with irritability that sometimes turned to anger. The symptoms were probably attributable to mood swings till past my…
  • A Kind Word Might Light Up Our Days
    Yuna Angell, who has schizophrenia, advocates it is important to be empathic and sensitive to people living with mental illness and advises how best to communicate with them. Although I have schizophrenia and depression, it still does make me feel awkward when people tell me they have mental illness. I’m at a loss as to what to respond afterwards sometimes. For me, I’ll just say, “Me too. I have schizophrenia and depression. How are you coping with your medication or counselling sessions?” I…
  • A person drinking alcohol from a glass
    The Biggest Barrier is the Self in Alcohol Addiction
    Dr G Kandasami, Chief, National Addictions Management Service (NAMS), Singapore, gives a comprehensive overview on alcohol abuse and addiction and suggests measures to reduce addiction problems. How do you differentiate between social drinking and alcohol addiction? Social drinking is just drinking for fun during social occasions and there won’t be any compulsion in one’s mind to continue drinking regularly. There won’t be any consequences to your drinking. You will not lose control over your…