How Can We Promote Wellbeing Of Our Children| PatientsEngage

Submitted by Dr S. Patel on 25 January 2021

Jumana Rajkotwala, Counselling Psychologist addresses questions on the challenges faced by children especially in pandemic times and the steps parents can take to help children be healthy and feel connected in these times.

What according to you are the biggest challenges that children face today?

Children, in recent times, have limited physical activity and increased online interests, this has taken a turn for the worse during the pandemic as kids have been stuck at home. One of the biggest challenges for parents is getting kids to be more active. Kids as young as 4 or 5 years are on the internet the entire day. While the web has a lot to offer the dangers are also immense. Social media is wrongly influencing children into believing the entire world lives charmed lives. Consequently, any disturbance in their lives becomes not just another challenge to better themselves but an ‘awful’ existence. This extremist mindset and desperate need to fit in is causing more mental issues now than ever before. Along with the social isolation, children have been on social media sites throughout the lockdown, affecting health and leading to severe depression.

Many parents complain that their children have poor attention spans, do you think attention deficiency is on the rise?

A study published in 2018 finds that ADHD diagnosis increased from 6.1% in 1997-1998 to 10.2% in 2015-2016 for children between the ages of 4 to 17. While in another survey 3 out of 4 children diagnosed with ADHD have a relative with the disorder. With tests to prove, in recent years more awareness of attention deficiencies and learning disabilities are available, which previously might have gone unrecognised in their parents or other family members. Therefore, though statistically there is a rise in cases than before it could also be that it is accurately recognised and diagnosed now more than earlier.

On another note, it has been seen that many parents, in a need to empower their children with multiple skills or to simply keep them busy, tend to shuffle them from class to class. A child as young as 5 will be doing physical activity, learning a new language and exploring some musical class. Children have low attention spans, a 5-year-old will pay attention to something for 5 to 7 minutes, anything after that is just noise. Expecting the child to sit for multiple hour-long classes during the week isn’t advisable. When these children lose attention, the parents worry about their focus and rush to therapists. Many-a-time we have to sit the parents down and explain that wanting a superstar child will do the kids more harm than good. While it’s healthy to have attentive parents, we strongly encourage not structuring their every hour and allow children to have adequate time for free play.

With increasing screen time, the physical play has taken a backseat. What are the downfalls of physical inactivity?

The internet is the go-to place for all today. The world is literally on our fingertips. While parents’rue screen time, if done correctly there are many benefits. Games are healthy and teach many skills, such as strategizing and planning, anticipating opponent moves before they happen and structuring. All these are skills that can be useful in daily life.

However, screen time comes with its perils. Some of the harmful effects of screen time are obesity, chronic pains, issues with sleep, poor social skills, depression and anxiety.

Being in a sedentary position for most of the day is a major risk for obesity. While earlier, kids would return from school and rush to the playground, now they rush to their laptops to catch the latest episode of their favourite shows or resume playing online/video games. This impacts the heart negatively, increases risks of diabetes, high blood pressure and unhealthy levels of cholesterol. With the lockdown in effect, kids are online most hours of the day making matters even worse than before.

Many children complain of chronic aches and pains and reasons are often excessive use of laptop. Neck aches, back and shoulder problems due to poor posture are also common effects. Eye issues because of constantly staring at the screen etc. have been observed. Also, poor sleep patterns have been noted, especially in children who are online just before bedtime as the light emitted from the screen interferes with the brain’s sleep cycle.

Being online and isolated all day also interferes with one’s social skills, a child who is happier online will not share what is happening with his family and many times refuses to interact with them. They have found acceptance in their group of people online whom they believe are more like-minded than the family at home. The danger is that these people may not be available in times of need and the family that is around may not know the child needs help as a distance has been created.

Another major concern of increased screen presence is depression. Children are increasingly experiencing negative mental and emotional health due to time spent in front of screens. Higher screen time and depression could be connected with an increase in suicidal behaviour, it also lowers one’s ability to read and understand emotions. A 2017 study done by the San Diego State University found the suicide rate for girls between 13-18 years increased by 65% between 2010 to 2015 and those contemplating suicide or feeling helpless rose by 12%. There was also an increase of 58% of girls reporting severe depression. On further research, most of these alarming figures were linked to increased screen time. On a brighter note, those who had limited screen presence spent more time doing exercise, sports, had person to person social interaction etc. had fewer depressive symptoms.

How can we encourage kids to be more physically active?

One thing we always tell parents is kids learn not by listening but by observing. If a parent wants to encourage their child to be more physically active then they have to set the same example. Expecting the child to stay away from the screen when the parent is always online is close to impossible. Take up a family sport, go for a run together, join a parent-child activity class. Setting an example for the child to follow is the best possible way for the child to develop an interest in any physical activity. Also, take the child to the park as much as possible instead of sending them with helpers. It has been observed that a child is more active and enthusiastic when the parent is around, as long as the parent is observing and encouraging the child to make new friends or try new equipment in the play area.

What are the common mistake parents make regarding screen time?

Again I’ll repeat my above statement, a child learns from observation. If the parent is online all the time and expects the child to not be, it is likely to fail. Especially during the lockdown where the parent and child have been together 24x7. This is the most common mistake. Also, all activities should be monitored, no matter how sensible or responsible the child seems, they can still fall prey to the internet. No computers or phones in bedrooms can prevent foul play to a large extent. If the child wants to be online, doing so in the family room or their parents’ room is advisable. Internet in their bedrooms should be avoided. It is also not advisable to give children phones until they are 13 years as it has been observed that is the correct age for them to understand online responsibility.

What are the best practices to regulate screen time?

Model correct screen time behaviour. Do not keep the television on while you scroll through your phone. Set aside a fixed time for online activities and be firm with both your child and yourself to regulate it. Sometimes parents have work or meetings to attend outside of regulated time, make sure you attend to the work only and switch off once done. Increase face to face interaction, play a sport or board game daily or atleast frequently. No phones or TV during meals and use parental controls to filter unwanted content.

What is the importance of sleep, in children?

Simply put, sleep is required to help the body rejuvenate and grow. A well-rested child has improved attention spans, better learning capacity and memory, well-adjusted behaviour and overall better quality of mental and physical health. Poor sleep patterns can result in obesity, high blood pressure, depression etc.

To help improve sleep in children they must follow a fixed sleeping time, the lights in the room should be kept dim and no electronics at least an hour before sleeping. Reading or a quiet winding down on the bed with a parent is also recommended so that the child is relaxed before going to sleep.

In your opinion, what are some of the pros and cons of online schooling?

Online schooling is the norm today, while kids enjoyed the concept when it began, finding novelty in attending school from their bedroom and some even in their pyjamas, the excitement faded off soon. If we look at options only from the lockdown point of view then it has been convenient but not very enjoyable. Learning has been restricted, there has been a lack of required resources and some teachers who aren’t as technologically savvy have struggled to switch to online methods and be effective. Though most teachers have got a hold of it now, many students are effectually skipping classes or doing other things online while their parents assume they are in class.

It is also difficult for children to focus on the screen for so many hours, so some switch off mentally while being present physically. Increased screen time has its perils from body aches to mental disturbances, add to it no physical interaction with their peers and many students have complained of social isolation which dampens effective learning. Older kids who require labs, theatre rooms etc. to learn have also suffered a drawback.

Schools have made many provisions for successful online learning, such as limited school hours, cutting down syllabus, some are even flexible to not conduct all classes online and email assignments for a few subjects. Learning that happens in the classroom with peers and hands-on experience is more beneficial than the online option. Yet, considering the pandemic situation, the internet has been utilised to the best of its ability by most schools and even though it’s not optimal, significant learning has been covered.

What impact will this have when children return to offline schools?

If you speak with the children, many are looking forward to going to school and interacting with their friends. Returning to the way things were might not be as big a challenge. There will be some adjustment issues for sure, the leisure manner in which most kids attend class will no longer be acceptable. Following schedules, not having parents or house help to attend to them and being flexible with assignments might require adjustment. There will be an added safety measure that wasn’t there earlier, sanitisation, hygiene maybe even physical distancing which might take some time getting used to, but, the interaction with peers, meeting people face to face, being able to use pieces of equipment in the school premises etc. will make learning easier and in turn the transition smoother.

What were some of the other emerging issues during the Covid pandemic?

Three main issues that have emerged during this pandemic are exposure, education and excess screen time.

Exposure to the virus or fear of exposure is one of the main concerns parents and children have currently. In India, most of us know of someone who has contracted the disease and while recovery rates are high, many have suffered dire consequences. While initially, we were paranoid about contracting the virus, nowadays it has been noted that people have developed a devil may care attitude. Excess fear leads to paranoia, while a careless attitude can lead to contracting the disease, hence it’s important to be careful while not allowing fear to set in.

Children have suffered the most due to no schooling and being stuck at home. While most schools have done the best they could, it isn’t optimal. There was no smooth transition or preparation for online learning. It was thrust upon both teacher and student for an unknown period. Lack of proper learning has been a major concern for the parent.

And as discussed above, exposure not just to the virus but also the internet has raised many worries, with increasing complains of deteriorating physical and emotional health. Those with unlimited access to the internet have complaints about excess weight gain, chronic pains, mental health problems etc. Parents have found children playing online games or being on social media at all hours of the night, with children becoming aggressive if denied access. Internet addiction is seen as a serious and emerging issue and with it an increase in victims of cybercrime. Few children have the necessary know-how to prevent cyber risks. Even with firewalls and internet safety in place, there is always a chance of exposure.

Any tips on how parents can prevent these issues?

Parents need to teach by example. An anxious parent will lead to an anxious child. If the parent is discussing the pandemic and checking statistics online most of the day, the child will believe it to be a terrible situation. If the parent is careless with hygiene and safety measures the child will follow. Balance is key. News should be filtered. What comes in the morning, will mostly be the same in the next few hours. Therefore restrict news, especially on Covid, to twice a day to reduce panic.

Since most families are still stuck at home it is important to interact more. Discussions are very important. While parents should not hover around when their child is in school, they must make it a point to ask how school was. Don’t assume that since the child is sitting at home parents can see what is happening. Set aside an hour a day to interact as a family and allow the child to voice their concerns regarding the current scenario. Respect their opinions even if you don’t agree with them.

Most importantly, restrict screen time. Engage in other activities- arts, crafts, board games as also outdoor physical activities – sports, games, runs, walks. This should be done for the entire family as children are not the only ones suffering from physical and emotional problems due to excess screen time.