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Submitted by Smriti Joshi on 13 March 2018
Image: Smriti Sawhney profile pic

Smriti Sawhney, an experienced Clinical Psychologist writes on body shaming and how harbouring a negative body image about ourselves, is ultimately a self-defeating exercise.

I have struggled with hair thinning the past 7 years and have cried endless nights, gone through phases of lows and irritability, gone doctor shopping, hair products shopping and may even have consumed enough number of multivitamins to cause a toxic reaction in me…all for fitting myself to the image I have for a beautiful, attractive female of my age. I know people have not stopped loving me or respecting me. Yet when I used to go out, I would imagine each person to be looking at the exact spot where I am losing my hair from. It had to stop somehow – this battle inside me of aspiring for lustrous locks, clicking pictures with only my face and forehead showing –and struggling with an imperfect mirror in my head.

What is Body Image?

Body image is the image we have of our physical appearance not as our physical appearance really is but formed via constant feedback we give ourselves about our appearance, interpretation of inputs from other people about us about our physical appearance as well as inputs from all kinds of media –print, tv or social media on what kind of body, hair or complexion may be considered as perfect or imperfect. The mental representation one creates may or may not bear close relation to how others actually see you.

It is often believed that this affects only teenagers but that is a myth. Yes, body image issues may begin in the teenage when an individual experiences some actual changes in the once physical appearance attributable to the hormonal changes and it’s the perfect time to help these young minds accept changes in physical appearance as a developmental norm and to focus on being healthy and happy. Yet, the truth is that body image issues affect young adults as well as those in their midlife years.

Pressure to fit oneself in the mythical perfect body can leave both women and men feeling low in self worth and self esteem, overwhelmed and inadequate. In a society where flawless fair complexion, thin models and perfect pouts stand out on billboards and every fashion magazine contains dozens of weight-loss tips and how to become fair tips, its not surprising that almost 91% people struggle with some form of body image issues.

The Pressure of Social Media

The Selfie culture has set off a new time bomb where selfies go through many edits and additions and frame changes before it actually gets uploaded to get the likes a “selfie like that” should get. Psychologists have found evidence linking social media use to body image concerns, dieting, body surveillance, a drive for thinness and self-objectification in adolescents. This does not mean social media is the cause of such issues but by being a platform which allows individuals to earn votes for their appearance and compare themselves to others it can make the most vulnerable users compare and question their own image and self worth related to their looks. There have been celebrities who are already where they are because of their talent yet chose to go under the knife, sometimes doing more harm than the good they anticipated.

This representation is then subjected to all kinds of distortion from internal elements like our emotions, moods, early experiences and much more. Preoccupation with such thoughts and distortions of body image are now widespread among the teens and our young adult women (among males too) but it doesn’t just end with body image issues. These issues in turn are the driving forces in eating disorders, self harm behaviours, self medication, anxiety and depressive disorders. In one study, researchers found that 75% of women had patterns of disordered eating.

Tips on Managing Body Image Issues

Managing body image issues can be difficult and is a continuous process for people who struggle with it. Here are some tips that can help those like me stay confident and happy with who they are as people and not just with what they look like:

  1. Do a reality check: Is what you are concerned with a real concern or is it only a fragment of your imagination or an aspiration to appear like your role model. If it’s a real concern, like thinning hair or weight gain or skin issues like break outs or psoriasis, its best to consult a specialist and follow their advice and treat it like a health goal to be worked on. If its something only you feel is a concern and find it hard to resolve or are constantly disturbed by it, try seeking assistance from a counsellor or a mental health professional to help you resolve them.
     
  2. Identify the triggers for your body image issues:
    Each of us has a unique set of scenarios or people that lead to feeling inadequate and you hating your own body. If you want to resolve your concerns then identifying and preparing a list of these body image triggers is important. Some options for avoiding getting into a self-loathing mode is:

    • Get rid of gadgets or things which remind you of your negative thoughts about your body like bathroom scales or pics of role models you wish to look like or a selfie taking app.
    • Avoid people who engage in negative talk about their own bodies or constantly discuss about perfect appearance or weight etc.
    • Avoid repeated use of mirrors or avoid checking yourself repeatedly in the mirror.
    • Distract your attention to something that gives you happiness or a feeling of mastery when you find yourself thinking about your body.
    • Practise scripts for people who make negative comments about your body and, where possible, avoiding these people altogether.
       
  3. Practice positive self affirmations

We often torture ourselves with an endless stream of negativity that tells us how ugly we are or how fat we are and how unattractive our friends or partner may find us. Practising acceptance for some things that we can’t change, as a) there may actually be nothing wrong medically or biologically with us say someone with dark complexion, or b) irreversible body changes due to medical conditions say thyroid or hair thinning due to alopecia, by focussing on the here and now and what we have as strengths that many with the physical attributes we aspire for may not have.

Simone de Beauvoir said “To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself.”

Practice being mindful by trying to notice these negative thoughts and replacing them with a more positive thought. Once you begin to notice this automatic stream of negative thoughts, you can begin replacing them with positive affirmations like - “So what if my hair is thinning, My body is so healthy,” or “I am not just my body,” or “I'm proud of what I've accomplished”. A quote that has helped me going each day is “healthy body + healthy mind = happiness” and that’s what my focus is now- to be healthy and happy. So let the focus be a healthy mind in a healthy body and not an unhealthy mind aspiring for a perfect body/appearance.

Here’s another empowering quote to remember and get strength from “It's my choice to be beautiful. It's my choice to be ugly. And it's my choice to decide what those words actually mean.
― Virginia Petrucci