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Submitted by PatientsEngage on 12 October 2015

“On paper, I am better: I no longer have cancer… But off paper, I feel far from being a healthy 26-year-old woman,” said Suleika Jaouad in a New York Times article Lost in transition after cancerdocumenting her battered and traumatised state after cancer treatment.

Minakshi Ray, who battled breast cancer, responds to that article and offers her take on life after cancer.  

That I have got a second chance to live is good enough reason for me to live life more passionately! It's two years since I finished my treatment, but I need to show up for check-ups every three months, get some tests done every six months and visit the Imaging department for a mammogram and scan every year. A streak of worry runs through my mind till I get the call from my oncologist informing me, "Minakshi, all good!” 

The fear of recurrence hasn't bothered me much so far and Tamoxifen is yet to show up any adverse effect on my mental health. On the contrary, I feel perfectly in sync with the rest of the world - mentally and physically! (Ed’s note: Tamoxifen is said to cause mental fogginess in some cases.) 

I have always believed and I continue to believe that the mind controls the body and not the other way round. As I wanted to keep my mind off the negative thoughts, I went back to work during my treatment  - I took up important projects, tried to keep up with the deadlines and challenged my fatigued body! It worked wonders for my mental health and never once felt that I was sick. 

I still remember distinctly the conversation with my oncologist during the first consulting session after the surgery and before the treatment started. He explained to us (my husband and I) in great detail the treatment plan, the side effects, the "dos and don'ts" and handed out a document published by the American Cancer Society outlining what he had already explained. Towards the end of the conversation, he emphatically mentioned, "Each body reacts in a unique manner as each body is unique. So don't put too much attention to whatever is written here and the best way to do that is to keep yourself engaged with positive things." That last line pretty much gave me the clue for an effective coping mechanism with whatever the side effects!

I took the monster head-on with my wonderful family and friends by my side!

Worrying about future uncertainty is an immense wastage of energy and time and it has the power to kill my "today". If it comes back again, I will deal with it as I did this time and now that I am one-time experienced, things will be much easier, if I need to walk that path again.

I quit my job voluntarily, have taken on motherhood full-time, find unmatched joy in growing some tomatoes and coriander in my kitchen garden, go out on shopping trips (mostly window shopping as I am a lousy shopper when it comes to real shopping) all by myself, enjoy coffee with friends once in a while, write for magazines and for my blog, and have recently enrolled in a flute class. 

Yes, things have been easier on us financially as the insurance company takes care of post-treatment expenses. Had it not been so, it would have been difficult to keep the going worry-free on the financial front. 

But otherwise, post-treatment, I find myself stronger mentally, more beautiful physically and appreciate the gift of life each moment! Well, I do have moments when I feel low, but who doesn't? Anxiety, depression have become part of life for so many of us for so many reasons. The world is increasingly becoming a complicated place to survive. 

Rather than adding to the stress that all of us (almost) need to deal with on a regular basis of living life, I choose to smile and say, "Thank God, I survived at least once." 

So, empower your mind and have the courage to fight life's battle. That you had cancer is a small part of your story. That you have survived to tell the tale is certainly the most glorious part of your story. 

Regale in the glory and live on without worrying what tomorrow is going to be like!

Read more from Minakshi 

Mind over Body

The "Spa" Effect of Chemotherapy

Goodbye 2014. Hello Hope

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