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Submitted by Vineet Saraiwala on 12 May 2019
A mom in a printed top and black skirt flanked by her adult sons,  the one on the left with a dark t-shirt and the one on the right with a blue t-shirt. In the background is a red car parked in front of a building on the right and a fence and trees on the left

Vineet Saraiwala, Inclusion Lead, Future Retail Limited, pays an emotional tribute to his mother, a mother of two sons with Retinitis Pigmentosa. A Mother's Day Special.

It was my mother’s destiny to have two sons, both with retinitis pigmentosa (RP), a degenerative disease in which vision deteriorates as age progresses. We, my brother and I, are glad that we are not alone in this journey as our mother is equally there in our struggles for the past 25 years. But we never noticed it.

My mother’s sacrifices and struggles

I remember when an Ayurvedic doctor prescribed a mysterious concoction which we needed to take daily, our mother would gulp it down first to encourage us. When another doctor recommended we pour onion juice in our eyes, she was quick to anoint her eyes with it first to understand the burning sensation.

She would religiously give us carrot juice to improve our vision, no matter how cumbersome. Those days we had no electronic juicer and my mother would crush the carrots manually and squeeze out the juice. It was a task performed with dedication and utmost sincerity for 3 years till the time we finally bought a juicer. As a child, I vividly cherish the times when my mother would take us for a stroll on the grass and we would do pranayama together.

I can count hundred little sacrifices she made to get our vision back. She took a vow in a temple and gave up eating rice and oranges. Imagine living without rajma and chawal, dosas and idlis, and my favourite poha for ages. My brother and I have given up on all religious superstitions as God has not helped us but our mother’s trust stands resolute. We often joke with her on this blind faith and tell her to restart her sacrifices.

We may never know that all the great things which are happening in our lives are because of her upbringing, values, superstitions and spirituality. We still remember the joy on her face when we took our graduation degree at the prestigious Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore (IIMB), a rare feat when both her sons studied and graduated together in the same year. We may never credit our success to our mother and put the onus on our hard work which is so unfair. Like all mothers, my mother too has never showered us with love for the sake of any reward but because it gave her immense satisfaction to see her children do well.

We are ungrateful

Sadly, listening to your mother becomes inversely proportional as you grow up and one of the symptoms to test if you have become a teen is not to pay heed to your mother.

So many times, we would see Maa wake up at 4 am to prepare food our journeys. She would ensure that there was enough for both of us and would pack everything with great love and care. But the two of us would be ungrateful. Our spontaneous reaction to this love would be anger. We would yell at our mother for going through unnecessary trouble and would tell her that we didn’t like cold food and would rather eat from a restaurant. Maa would tell us without a sign of frustration to keep it for emergencies and throw it if not consumed. She has given us 9 parathas when we had specifically told her to pack only 6. You again grimace at her for wasting food. But by the time, you sit in the aircraft, you suddenly realise that all the food is in your stomach and tears are rolling down your cheeks. You have cleaned the tiffin to the last crumb.

Again, you are studying in the college and Maa comes to visit you. Till the time you come back from your classes, you find the room neatly organised, wardrobe arranged, clean bedsheets, clothes washed, drawers and books stacked up -  and unexpressed gratitude is in the air. You enjoy the prearranged room for months and silently thank her for the gesture. She passionately explains you the coordinates of all the things as you are visually impaired and need to memorise the GPS of everything.

Your mother brings new clothes for you and tells you to try it out and you brush her aside with, “Maa, I have no time.”  Your mother makes homemade snacks and couriers it to you which you finish it in one day. Your mother calls you everyday to ask about your wellbeing. But you are frustrated with your work, and direct the anger at your mother. Your mother realises that you are upset about something and she politely enquires about it and as usual you express your indifference and disconnect the phone.

Your mother wishes you every year on your birthday, but you always forget hers. Your mother sobs every night about the condition of your eye. Your mother prays to all the Gods and keeps a fast for you. She would have done countless penances and held herself responsible for blamed herself for your retinitis pigmentosa and the genetic defect.  She would have taken you for doctor’s consultations, been by your bed side during surgeries, cared for you when you had jaundice, brought you toys, felt the pain of your injections and signed your progress report card in school with optimism.

We are apathetic

We look for work life balance in this modern world and fail to acknowledge our mothers. The pain of a mother’s labour, or waking her up with our cries everyday as infants, or our mischiefs during our bath times. Her biggest satisfaction for the day came when after testing her patience for countless hours with pain in her hands, we had finished a bottle of milk or a chappati. We don’t remember our mothers but our mother always remembers us. She would have fond memories of the day we started walking, our favourite toy, our first day at school and the small achievements in our lives. Her hand must have pained so much when she use to guard us to her chest during travel but she was in a bliss.

Your mother might have never gone to school and could have never explained to you Newton’s law or trigonometry. She might not know English or how to use a smartphone. She is not intelligent like the modern generation and does not understand films. The primary reason you are successful is not because of your education or your hard work or your IQ but because of your values which your mother has inculcated in you. Knowledge can be acquired but it’s your values which drives you to seek knowledge.

Make your mother happy

She took care of you and ensured you had a comfortable life, good schooling and nutritious food. She never deprived you of anything and her compassion was selfless. We can never quantify a mother’s love or pay her back by any means. She is happy when we take her for granted or yell at her or transfers our frustration to her. The least we could do for her is go on a small walk, share a meal or rejoice those memories with her on this Mother’s day. It could start with saying ‘Thank you’! To her for being there and making a difference to your life. Her eyes will fill up, face would lit up and a sense of accomplishment would be there in her. We celebrate Mother’s Day once a year but she celebrates her child till the time she is alive.

Cheers and respect to all Mothers.

Vineet Saraiwala leads the Inclusion drive for Big Bazaar and is on a mission to make shopping accessible to everyone including shoppers with disabilities. He hails from Jamshedpur and is an alumnus of the prestigious Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore. An avid trekker, marathoner, endurance cyclist he loves reading non-fiction books and charting unconventional paths to make the world a better place.