Mrs. Kalyani talks about her 85-year-old mother and what it took to keep everyone happy.
My mother, Vijayalakshmi, is 85 years old and her behaviour can be like that of a young child. She has mobility problems. She needs to be monitored 24x7, mainly to protect her from falling and injuring herself.
My mother needs to be taken to the bathroom every 1 ½ hours to 2 hours without fail. Otherwise she would wet the bed or go in the room. While eating she wants the TV on and she will be so engrossed in watching it that she will forget that she is eating. We have to repeatedly remind her, saying: “Saapidunga, Saapidunga!” (Please eat, Please eat). Many a times she will get angry with us for disturbing her from watching her favourite Sivaji Ganesan movies. (She is a GREAT fan of Sivaji Ganesan!). Occasionally she would be disoriented and say that she wants to go home (Aathukku Poganum!); if we ask her, “Which house?” she has no answer. She will simply say, “Aathukku Poganum!”
We have engaged two paid caregivers (2-shifts), Valli and Bala, to be with her, through an agency. They are quite efficient and take good care of my mother and she also feels comfortable with them. My husband and I see to it that all three are comfortable and happy. We treat Valli and Bala well and we respect them. They are part of our family now.
But this was not the situation three years ago. We had a tough time taking care of my mother. She used to be adamant, non-cooperative and frustrated. She could not accept the fact that she had to be dependent on somebody even to fulfil her basic needs. She would take out her frustration on the caregivers using harsh words. Whoever came to take care of her would leave within two months. In fact, we would have changed the caregivers at least 7 or 8 times. Then Valli and Bala came to take care of her. Since then everything is going smoothly. There is peace in the house.
I am a volunteer for visually challenged students. I assist them in their studies. By browsing the Internet, I collect information for them on various topics related to their studies. Thanks to the Tamil Nadu Government, most of my students are employed as teachers in various Government schools in the state. I record school texts (English) for them and they use it mainly for the pronunciation and spelling of English words.
I am able to continue my service to my students peacefully only because of the two caregivers, Valli and Bala, at my home. We thank Providence for bringing them to my home to take care of my mother.
This article comes courtesy our partner organisation CARE³:
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