A loss of a child is unimaginable. Different people try to cope with it in different ways. Deepa and Jacob K Joy set up the Asawari Music Foundation in memory of their daughter Asawari, who was a musical talent herself. Deepa Jacob talks about the Trust, grief and how she has coped with the loss of her child.
Please tell us what led to Asawari Musical Foundation being set up?
Asawari Music Foundation was set up to remember my daughter Asawari who passed away when she was 15. She was suffering from a rare form of leukemia. She was a miracle child, good at everything, from singing to piano playing, and she had even started playing the drums. She was a good person and she always had a lot of friends around her. She was perhaps too good an angel to continue to live on this earth. She even went through two successful stem cell transplants to battle the cancer. But finally succumbed to it. We formed this Music Foundation to remember our loving daughter. We started these competitions where one is encouraged to outperform his/her given exams in music.
How and when did you decide to start it?
We started it the month after she passed away. In October 2013 we started the competitions. Asawari was a gifted child and music was her only relief even when her body weakened. She always rose above everything to enjoy her eternal love for music. We thought a Music Foundation was the best way to pay homage to Asawari’s memory.
Has setting up and running Asawari helped you to heal and somewhat come to terms with your loss as a mother?
A mother never does come to terms with losing her child. Ever. She only learns to live. In that way, Asawari Music Foundation has certainly helped. It has helped me see the children sing beautifully. I’m happy when I see the children perform and when they come back to me with their progress reports. I was working with Hindusthan Levers earlier. And I had taken voluntary retirement when my child fell ill. When she went I was also not working. After she went, I went back to Levers to ask them whether they wanted me back full time or part time. They said they wanted me back full time. I joined them back, which helped me greatly. At least, I was mentally occupied from 9 am to 9 pm and it prevented me from thinking about Asawari constantly. So the real tough time was taken care of by my job at Levers, without which I would have probably had a very tough time to cope.
What are the present activities of Asawari?
AMF holds one concert a year which is a stage for all western singers in India for the age of 18 and below. AMF invites applications for anyone for any format of music for a scholarship to study ahead. There is a violinist boy we have supported, who has moved on to play higher stringed instruments, and yet another violinist from Calcutta. We offer about Rs 50,000 for the scholarship and a prize money of about 4 lakhs.
How do you think Asawari stands apart from other Musical Foundations?
Yes it is different. It gives children prizes and no stress competitions and not too much publicity either. AMF puts the children in contact the other singers which helps them to go ahead. We have so far only used our money and have not taken any donation funding. And the rule for the first five years of the competition was to outperform your own adjudged grade of singing capability, and not necessarily the next singer. We have different categories for classical, pop and western pop. The competition is always against yourself. How you have performed yourself and how you can better yourself.
What are your future plans for Asawari Foundation?
Many lakhs go into the scholarships to study music ahead and the prize money that is offered. And the money is all ours, every bit of it. I am not sure how long I will be able to sustain it. I have never tried funding from anyone else. But I would appreciate the Foundation to have a life of its own and that it should go beyond me. I would like to help others. Crowd funding would also help.
The sorrow of losing my daughter is mine and only mine. But there are a few songs that I completely associate with her. I weep when I listen to them but I am happy for her. I also like it when an AMF student sends me a card and keeps me informed of his/her development. I feel happy that I am doing something for Asawari.
Asawari Music Foundation is a family founded organization that promotes musical excellence and talent nationwide. Set up by Deepa and Jacob K Joy in the memory of their daughter Asawari, who was a musical talent herself, this Trust encourages young talents to realise their dreams.
