Ramendra Kumar is a motivational speaker and an award winning author. A positive person, he has also taken his ongoing battle with colon cancer in his stride. He talks about how he balances both his worlds.
I am an engineer and an MBA who had a long stint with SAIL in its Corporate Communications Department. I have had 42 well-received publications to my credit and have been a part of a number of literary festivals, across the world.
I was diagnosed with Stage 2B Colon Cancer around 40 days back (last week of November 2021). The colon has multiple polyps and one of the polyps is cancerous, a couple more are in the pre-cancerous stage and the others in various sizes. The cancer from the polyp has spread to the surrounding lymph nodes.
What were the early symptoms of colon cancer?
Indigestion, irregular bowel movement over the last few months. And finally blood in the stool. The stool test showed occult blood. This was followed by Colonoscopy (and Biopsy) which confirmed the verdict of colon cancer. The CT Scan and PET Scan confirmed the extent of spread.
Related Reading: Prevention of Colon cancer
Is there a history of any cancer in your family?
My mother suffered from bleeding piles which the doctors now, in hindsight, are suspecting as Colon Cancer.
What is the line of treatment you are following?
I have completed five rounds of radiation (Short course) and one round of Chemotherapy. Three more rounds of chemo shall be followed by surgery and then the doctors will take a call on further rounds of chemo.
The surgery will involve removal of the entire colon. I will be given an external stoma bag for 6 weeks. I am prepared for it.
Please describe your experience of managing the condition?
Three days after radiation was completed, I had severe diarrhea and nausea because of which I could barely eat and so I lost some weight. After four to five days my condition stabilized. Before the chemo started I managed to regain most of the lost weight.
Two days after the first round of chemo, I suffered from constipation for which I was given medicines. This in turn led to frequent bowel movements. So a fine titration of the medication was required to strike a balance between constipation and loose motions. The biggest issue, however, was terrible twisting cramps in the stomach every time I passed stool. The pain of the cramps was absolutely unbearable. At the same time I was also plagued by nausea. Again the problem of food intake and loss of weight followed. After a week my condition improved.
Have you learnt anything while managing your condition that you wish you knew before?
The one thing I learnt is to strictly follow the doctors’ advice. Well meaning friends and relatives will come up with solutions about alternate therapies, healing techniques et al. During the course of the treatment it is best not to experiment. In fact, it is better to avoid even listening to such suggestions. These will only confuse you.
Are there myths regarding cancer that need to be busted?
The fight with cancer depends entirely upon the stage and location in which it is. And the stage depends upon the spread.
The fact that you have cancer doesn’t mean it is the end of the world. The right line of treatment, support of family and friends and your own positivity can help you overcome.
Did you have to make changes in your lifestyle because of your condition?
Yes, my diet has been regulated, both solid food and water, and I am closely monitoring my physical activity.
Have you tried complementary medicine or therapies, like homeopathy or yoga?
No.
Has it been difficult emotionally to cope with your condition and how have your family and friends supported you?
To answer this question I would like to share a poem which I wrote yesterday:
The Cancer Warriors
As I stumbled through the dark night
With not a shard in sight
The black became blacker
The night a darker night.
The soul was suppurating
The mind was numb and worn
Looking for succour was a heart
Sliced, shredded and torn.
I had plunged into despair
From a state of happiest high
Fighting a malady that was
Smothering my every sigh.
‘Why me?’ ‘Poor me’
I raved and ranted
Then I saw three anxious faces
The look in their eyes so haunted.
Resilience was the only option
I knew I couldn’t crumple
I could stumble, I could fall
But I had to get up and hobble.
I decided to fight the scourge
Crush the damn tumour
With my precious weapons
Of masti and humour.
My three hearts ensnared me
In a web of positivity and love
It was as if three angels
Had descended from heavens above.
Now sheathed in their empathy
And cloaked in their affection
I can fight any malady
Battle the worst affliction.
A tidal wave of messages
From friends, followers and ‘Fans’
Have been like myriad oases
In arid, desert sands.
These zillion tiny rainbows
Have caressed my soul
Helping me march
Towards my only goal.
Battered and bruised I might be
But I will just not surrender
I will fight with every heartbeat
And smash the savage monster.
No cancer can beat me
No malady can crush,
When I have the invincible army
Of You, Me & Us!
I am not a cancer ‘survivor’
You are not a cancer saviour,
Each one of us is
Simply a Cancer Warrior!
Apart from the unconditional support from my family, the encouragement and love of my friends and fans has been incredible. I have been flooded with messages on WA, FB, Insta, all lauding my fighting spirit. I have been called a messiah, an inspiration and an icon. A friend has given me the sobriquet Ramen Sher Khan!
This kind of affection and bonding has become my greatest weapon in my battle against cancer.
Did you see a counselor for support? Were you offered counselling by the doctor?
No. But the doctors had explained their plan of treatment in detail.
What was the hardest part of the treatment? And what kept you going?
To answer this question I would like to put things in perspective. My wife Madhavi and I took Voluntary Retirement in August 2020, from SAIL, Rourkela Steel Plant, where we were serving as General Managers. We shifted to Bengaluru where our kids Ankita and Aniket were working.
This period was the best in my life. I wrote two books during this time, the latest was an amazon best seller. I was invited to literary fests, webinars, storytelling sessions and workshops and the response was humongous. I felt things were perfect. At this juncture, the diagnosis slammed into me, and tore me apart. I too went through the entire gamut of ‘poor me’ ‘why me’ et al. Sitting in the hospital canteen, for 20 minutes I raved and ranted. I then saw the faces of Madhavi, Ankita and Aniket simply crumple.
At that moment I realised resilience was a Hobson’s choice. I had the option of wallowing in self pity OR starting on the path from ‘colonisation’ to ‘decolonisation’ with my own weapons of grit and gumption. I couldn’t subject my family to the trauma I was going through. They didn’t deserve it! From that moment onwards I made sure that I stayed positive. I have been doing dance videos, recording and posting poems, did a zoom session with Sam Pitroda and started work on my next book. There have been several occasions when black waves of depression have hit me. But I have never allowed them to overwhelm me.
Is there any personal anecdote that you would like to share with us?
Ankita, who is a travel influencer with an Insta following of 197k decided to do a dance video with me.
https://www.facebook.com/ramendra.kumar.526/videos/1098407877635234
My Radiation Oncologist shared my dance video with Ankita, with the following comments :
‘I come across, each day, stories of courage as well as helplessness.
Ramen, a dear patient of mine, who is a celebrated author and a motivational speaker, sent me this video. I was taken aback since his world has recently been rocked upon by a cancer diagnosis and overwhelming information about treatment, side effects and uncertain outcomes. He decides to find ‘humour in tumour’ and sings on the radiation table, cracks jokes and makes music videos.
I respect his attitude and am posting the video so that my colleagues can share with their patients as an example of how someone can dance in swag through the cancer treatment.’
Another heart-warming response – this time from a complete stranger:
Govind on Instagram - 6 :14 AM, Dec. 10
Hello Sir,
“Thanks for such a wonderful video.I showed it to my father who is suffering from Peripheral artery disease. I am hoping it will motivate him to try to walk.”
10.29 AM Dec. 11
Me:“Thanks Govind, I shall really be happy if I can contribute my bit in bringing a ray of sunshine into someone special's life.”
11.30 AM Dec. 13
“Govind: You did it Sir!!! My father has slowly started walking.”
What is the advice you would like to share with others going through a similar situation.
Here is my take on how to cope:
Pursue a hobby – music, painting, gardening, reading, cooking et al. This will keep your mind occupied in a productive activity and will not allow negative thoughts and anxieties to invade your space.
If you do not have a passion develop a new hobby.
In the rush of life many of us do not get the time to spend with your loved ones. Use this period of treatment and recovery to strengthen the bonds with your family and friends. Create memories with them – the tough times will not last, but memories will.
Watch fun movies and TV programmes. For Hindi movie buffs I would suggest Kishore Kumar, Hrishikesh Mukherjee and Rajkumar Hirani movies for English movie fans my preference would be movies by Charlie Chaplin, Woody Allen and TV shows based on PG Wodehouse novels and stories.
Remain positive, laugh as much as you can and remember the most effective treatment is not chemo, radiation and surgery – it is your own willpower and resilience. If you decide you won’t be beaten no power on earth can vanquish you.
The battle field is not your body but your heart, mind and soul!
