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Submitted by PatientsEngage on 25 February 2018
Divya Parashar as she looks today

Dr Divya Parashar, Head of Rehabilitation Psychology, Indian Spinal Injuries Centre, New Delhi, shares about her own battle with weight issues and how her loss of the extra kilos also invited flak.

This is me, 12 years ago, when we were packing to return to India, and a few months after I had just turned 30 and started on a journey to regain my health by losing a whole lot of weight.

Weight that was playing host to a few medical conditions: PCOD, Metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, pre-diabetes, high cholesterol for which I was on medications. On that day, I was gleefully posing in a skirt that once fit me, let's say, snugly. I smiled as I rediscovered this picture yesterday after my dear friend and trusted nutritionist Ishi (who led me on this "reclaiming me" journey) asked for it.

I had lost 34 kgs in the months that followed, and I was able to reverse the health conditions then and have continued to keep them at bay all these years. Looking back now, it took a whole lot of hard work, more than anything else. Over the years, I have been called "obsessive," "stubborn," and I especially love this one: "anorexic," and I have smiled through them all.

The Struggle Was Mine

The thing is, the struggle was mine, and I am not sure if anyone who hasn't been in that space understands that. The plantar fasciitis which led to the pain in the feet because of the excess weight, the pain in the back, the frustration I felt when I couldn't walk in the Grand Canyon (the Grand Canyon! It still was the trip of a lifetime though!) because I was breathless, the fear of being diabetic because of the strong family history of diabetes, and just the lethargy and malaise I would feel all the time. And all this was just the tip of the iceberg.

This morning, the alarm buzzed at 5:00am.

"Snooze, just 5 minutes, okay? Ugh, I got home late last night from work, didn't sleep well again. Do I have to do this? Do I have to do this? OK. What time do I need to leave for work? 7:45. Breakfast: 15 minutes, 7:30. 30 minutes to get ready, 7:00, an hour and a half's workout, 5:30-7:00. Get up, Divya, get up."

I swung out of my bed to make a cup of coffee and the morning had begun. This is me, 6 days a week. Do I wish some days it was different? When I didn't have to wake up this early? When I could just laze in bed and sleep that extra two hours? Yes. But I choose this. Everyday. Whether I am travelling or have late nights or any other reason that could potentially be a very good excuse to skip a workout.

Do I Enjoy Life?

"Why are you so careful about what you eat?" "Oh, I'm sure one bite of this cake / pakoda / samosa won't hurt." "How much will you diet? How much weight do you want to lose?" "How can you eat all this every day?" "You have to enjoy life, you know. So eat all you want."

I do enjoy life, except it is not marked by the food I eat or the number of hours I slept in. I enjoy it by the long runs I go on early in the morning which gives me my "me" time before I spend the whole day at the hospital. I like going to bed by 10pm and waking up by 5:30am (barring a few aberrations like this past week). I enjoy life by feeling good about what I eat and how much I eat without starving myself or compromising on the quality of the food I eat. I like hanging out with friends and family and having a good time  chatting and connecting :)

The thing is, I realized, I couldn't have just gone on a "diet," lost weight, and come back to my previous lifestyle of indulging in junk. It takes effort and willpower and dedication to stick to a health regime to stay fit. And, I wasn't just going to let go of all the effort and willpower it had taken me to reverse my health conditions.

You. Can't. Just. Let. Go.

At least I can't.

And as the years go by, there are changes to the body that occur naturally and you have to take that in your stride and make sure you try your best to keep that balance restored. To me, it really wasn't much of a surprise how much my lifestyle affects that process. It was a simple formula: A blend of what you eat, how active you are, and how you keep stress at bay. And it stays that way.

If you are not good to yourself, who will be? 

"You are with yourself 24/7, 365 days of the year. If you are not good to yourself, then who will be?" I keep saying this to friends and patients, and I strongly abide by it myself too. And my benchmark of doing well has been my annual tests and physical exam and those continue to be great.

Keeping myself healthy has also reinforced another thing to myself. It has never been about which clothes I could buy, or how I looked. It was about how I felt from within and how far I could go. And when I saw these pictures yesterday, I felt good about how far I'd come. It's taken me a whole lot of sweat and sacrifice, but it continues to be so worth it.

So, once again, here's to life…and continuing to "Reclaim me!"