Sharon, 42 talks about the various facets of work, life and relationships after breast cancer. She shares her journey of working through cancer, what worked for her in job interviews and how cancer has changed her lifestyle and priorities.
I was diagnosed with Breast cancer in 2015, when I was 37 years old. It was stage 2B and I underwent the recommended Surgery (lumpectomy), Chemo, and Radiation therapy. Lastly, I was on Herceptin and by June 2016 I had completed the entire course of treatment.
Managing the after-effects of breast cancer treatment:
Immediately post surgery, I was told not to carry weights on my affected arm. I still do all my lymphedema exercises daily and do weights of 3 kgs but I know I can lift more. It took 4 years to get any sensation in the spot where the nerves were cut.
Check the video below where we talk to breast cancer survivors on regaining strength. Plus video on lymphedema
Hair loss was the single most distressing issue at the time. I decided to buy loads of scarves and wear them in a different funky style everyday. When my hair did grow back, it was much softer and finer than before.
I know my body has changed for sure. I now feel very hot all the time, even in the winter months. I remember things lesser now. I used to have a near photographic memory but not anymore. I don’t remember books I’ve read or movies I’ve watched. I’m on this Quiz group and find myself struggling with answers that are often just on the tip on my tongue.
Other health issues:
Once treatment ended, I had to focus on another health issue which was heavy uterine bleeding. I did have cysts and fibroids since a few years but without any major symptoms. Cancer treatment seemed to have made everything active and I started experiencing heavy bleeding which lasted a few months. My Oncologist was the one who referred me to a Gynaecologist and guided me through it all. A total hysterectomy was performed, where the uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes were removed.
In 2017, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and had swollen inflamed joints. I did take the necessary joint and bone health supplements and painkillers at the time but realised I needed some long term solution. So I called my old Kathak teacher and started dance classes again. I still do them twice a week and have no more joint pains and have stopped taking any joint pain medications.
Managing relationships after Breast Cancer:
My husband took great care of me during my entire cancer treatment. So, when I asked for a divorce, even he was surprised. However, this was a decision unrelated to my cancer. It was my choice and I wanted to be independent. Everything went amicably well as it was a mutual separation at the end. I spoke and explained to my daughter who was fine with it.
My mother has been a big support to me through everything and continues to be. She was away for the first 6 months but when she came back, she took over all the responsibilities of my house till treatment ended. She is a sweet sensitive soul so it was hard for her to accept my diagnosis. Even today, she does not want to talk about it and hasn’t told a lot of relatives and her distant friends.
My daughter was nine when I was diagnosed. When I told her about it, she accepted it with a lot of maturity which was comforting and relieving. She was in 4th grade at school. There were days, when she spent all her time with the nanny and barely saw me or her father as we were in the hospital. I have no idea how she managed school and studies on her own, but she was a brave kid. When she would come back from school and see me sleeping, she would quietly crawl into bed next to me. Back then, it seemed she understood and had accepted it. Now I know that she holds on to some of those memories in a very sensitive way. She has spoken about my cancer at school a couple of times. I know she thinks about it and whenever she is ready to discuss it more, I will be around to sit down and chat.
Watch: How to talk to your children about cancer
While I was managing everyone, the ones who managed me were my pet dogs. I am a proud momma and grandma to 5 boxers, who showered all their love and attention on me through it all. They were a huge emotional support. My oldest Daisy used to have a sense of when my fever was coming on and, on those days, would not leave my side. She would shadow me everywhere, sit outside my bathroom and come cuddle me when I would be in bed. Her puppies kept me entertained, occupied and just took my mind off things. They inspired me to open my own e-commerce pet supply shop the following year.
Managing Work after Breast Cancer:
At the time, I was self-employed so, I could choose my timings. During chemo, I would get up, go for Chemo and then head to my office for a few hours. At the chemo clinic, the hospital staff would ask me “where is the patient?” since I would show up in formal attire, fancy scarves and heels. Often, I would be working on my laptop while chemo was on. On chemo days, I would however not do any client meetings and take it easy. Nonetheless, I wanted Chemo to be a part of my routine and normalise it for both me and my family. Since I was the boss, my colleagues would worry that if anything happened to me, they would lose their jobs. My presence in the office was very reassuring to them all.
I commenced working full-time soon after 6 cycles of chemotherapy had ended. I had begun to feel better, had more energy and my hair had started to grow back. I felt stronger and my fever had worn off entirely.
In 2017, I joined an advertising firm and during my interview itself, I told them everything about my medical history. In a corporate setting, I found that people were more empathetic, especially nowadays when everyone knows someone who has gone through cancer. There is in addition, a ‘wow’ factor when they see you are going through it with a smile on your face. Respect is something else I gained because after losing two years of my life to cancer, I was back in the workspace forwarding and focusing on my career.
Diet Changes after Breast Cancer:
I have always been overweight and I do find it difficult to lose weight. It takes a lot of effort and push to shed even a few pounds. With increasing age, it takes even longer to see any changes. Since now I am on a preventive mode to avoid relapse, I did read up on various diets and how they can help. I also want to set an example and have my teenage daughter follow good eating habits. I focus more on veggies, fruit and homecooked meals. I have also cut down on carbohydrate and sugar intake.
Exercise after Breast Cancer:
Staying active is very important! I realized at some point that my fatigue was tied in with my body weight. So along with minor dietary changes, I do make it a point to go for a walk every evening. Even during the pandemic, I could go down for a few minutes every day or walk the dogs.
Reflections
Often, talking to our families is an uphill task! It is easier to speak to other patients and their families. In your heart, you know when you are not ready to face certain facts, that you are just running away from it. A life-threatening disease like cancer helps to put things in perspective. It upturns all the meaningless things we chase in life. It helped me prioritize my life. Once I had finished dealing with it, I wanted to let it go and move on.
Related Resources below
1. Understanding and Preventing Lymphedema
2. Regaining strength and staying fit after breast cancer
