Jennifer Menezes, 28-year-old stroke survivor, fights her paralysis with hope and courage. Here she narrates her account in detail to disseminate information, particularly against prolonged headaches which could indicate a looming stroke.
I suffered a life-threatening stroke at age 26. I happened to be one among thousands, as stroke is an uncommon occurrence among young adults. It paralysed my left hand and leg and left me with a facial palsy which thankfully got back to normal within weeks.
The symptoms started on April, 2019. I suddenly developed high fever and severe headache, like a migraine. The headache was so intense that I had to be hospitalised. The doctors said that it could be a case of viral fever and treated me accordingly. It was after 5 days that my headache eased a bit.
I felt I had not fully recovered, but I resumed office and began work. I was working in Ernst and Young (EY) and had risen up to become a tax assistant manager. My work load was high at that moment due to tax deadlines. I dismissed my hospitalization and headaches as incidental episodes. That was my biggest mistake.
Severe Stroke
Two weeks later, I was hit a by a full-blown stroke.
I was in office. It was late in the evening. Most of my colleagues had left for the day. Only a few of my team members were there. I suddenly began feeling very giddy and nauseous and my speech was not very clear. I could feel my blood pressure shoot up. Then strangely, I felt my neck roll to the right. I couldn’t straighten it. I had no control.
My associates sitting near me thought that I had low sugar and instantly gave me sugar water and chocolates. That did not make me feel any better. I began puking. Then I felt a shooting jab at the base of my head – at just one spot. My friends asked me to keep my head straight, but I was not able to. I was quite delirious. They sensed something major, and realised that I had to be rushed to the hospital. They asked me to get up, but when I tried to wear my shoes, I could not move my left foot. I made several attempts to stand, but my left leg wouldn’t move an inch. I don’t remember what was wrong with my hand, but I clearly remember I could not move my leg. Then the office people organised a wheelchair. They tried to call for an ambulance, but couldn’t get one immediately. Finally I was bundled into a colleague’s car and taken to the hospital.
The nearest hospital was a few kilometers away, but it took me an hour to reach because of rush hour traffic. At the hospital, I was taken to the emergency room. The doctors asked my friends, if I had any fits or seizures because I was foaming at the mouth. Then they noticed my limp head and frozen left side. I was instantly wheeled in for a CT brain scan. The scan revealed I had a haemorrhage on my right frontal lobe of the brain.
AVM in my brain
A subsequent MRI detected a malformation in my brain. It was called AVM, or Arteriovenous Malformation (an abnormal tangle of blood vessels in the brain). Most often AVMs are congenital and can progressively get worse over time. I too had my AVM since birth. I learnt later that most often AVMs are detected after they rupture. Doctors often term it to be a time bomb in the brain as it can rupture at any moment as early as age 10. They can rupture under intense pressure and cause bleeding into the brain. Symptoms can include headaches and seizures but my symptom was just severe and prolonged headaches. I did not experience any migraine aura either, that could entail blurry vision or blind spots.
I was in hospital for 15 days. My BP was normal all the time in the hospital. Fortunately my speech or visual ability was not affected. I was declared to be out of danger after 72 hours. Then physiotherapy started. I could sense something was wrong on my right side but little did I know it was totally paralysed on my left. I was finding it difficult to turn around. Nurses had to help me turn to either side.
My family was given two options for further treatment. I could either have an open surgery for the removal of the AVM or go for gamma knife radiosurgery. After we consulted another neurologist he suggested that we go for gamma knife because, because removing the AVM through open surgery may lead to complications if it is critically located. It may even cause permanent weakness in my Therefore we opted for gamma knife radiosurgery. The radiosurgery was available at NIMHANS (National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences).
Gamma knife radiosurgery
In August 2019, I went to NIMHANS. The gamma knife radiosurgery is a kind of radiation therapy that gradually dissolves the abnormal growth in the brain. Before treatment, I was fitted with a ‘head frame’. The frame was attached to my scalp and skull, and then MRI and angiogram were done. The images show the exact location, size, and shape of the tumour allowing precision targeting. Once the frame was secure and the location finalised, I was given radiation for an hour. The pain and pressure was unbearable, but I kept consoling myself – ‘It is okay to bear the pain, as long as I can walk.’
According to doctors, gamma knife radiosurgery is a slow process, and it would take almost two years after radiosurgery for my AVM to reduce. The biggest advantage was going to be that it prevents future growth or deterioration.
On February, 2021, two years after the radiosurgery, I went for an MRI. The scan showed that malformation was not visible at all. Thank the Lord! You don’t know how relieved I was. But I have to still wait for an angiogram, which will be done in August, for 100% confirmation.
Partial recovery
My hand has improved considerably with almost full mobility, but my leg is not fully alright. I used to walk with a stick, but now I use AFO brace, or the ankle-foot orthosis which supports my ankle. It helps my foot to clear the ground when I walk and enables my foot drop (lifting the foot) which at present is one of the major issues that I'm facing. I can walk on even surfaces, but still find it difficult to walk up the steps and uneven surfaces.
I did not have any speech and visual disability. My speech was affected only at the spot of the episode for a brief time where my friends could not understand what I was talking. But it was fine after few hours or so when I actually was talking to the nurses.
Currently I am only on physical therapy which I may have to be continued forever depending on the situation.
Office
I took a break of six months from office. But they have been very kind and supportive and they let me take a break and return to work when I felt better. So instead of nine hours, I was working for 5 hours. Again because of my financial condition and as I realised I could handle better, I began working full day.
As far as handling work pressure is concerned, well… I have been affected adversely to a certain extent. I cannot handle the work pressure like before. I get very tense with the slightest stress. In fact, I panic even with very small tasks with tight deadlines and I start sweating. But I make sure to switch off and sit quietly in some place and meditate till I feel better. I am extremely scared of getting another stroke.
My office has been flexible to let me work from home since my stroke, and report to office when required. I usually go in my friend’s car or take a cab. I take time to get in and out of car but I can do it on my own now.
Psychological impact
When it dawned on me that I have been paralysed on my left side, I was quite shaken. I used to cry day and night and think my life is rendered useless now. I couldn't do even simplest of things like picking up a spoon or tying my hair. I had no good sleep for months. It took long but now I have accepted it. And, am trying to count my blessings that except for my mobility none of my other abilities were affected.
Mediate now
I mediate, pray (prayer being the most effective weapon) and watch motivational and spiritual videos to keep me calm and go on with life with positivity. Definitely like any other survivor I have my good and bad days but as long as I don’t give up I know I can get better everyday. I follow stroke survivors on Instagram where I see their recovery videos. I get strength. “If they can, why can’t I?”
I would recommend to all who have had a stroke –
- Ensure movement of every affected muscle and joint within capacity as many times as possible.
- Get informed as much as possible about your condition. With new developments and technologies, you can better manage and improve your health.
- Network with others in similar situation for information and motivation.
- Get second opinion for proper diagnosis.
- Pay heed to body signals.
- Do not lose hope. It is possible to get back on track.
- Pursue activities other than office work to remain calm and remember stroke is not an end of life but is a beginning of a new normal life.
