And she still counts her blessings! Bhairavi (not her real name) fainted and lost her vision, speech all at once. Read more to find out how she came to understood the cause and how she resumed painting.
The beginning
It all started in summer of 2004, when my husband had just lost his mother and we went to Calcutta for her last rites. The evening of the shraadh or memorial gathering, I was looking for a mouth freshener since I hadn’t eaten all day. My relative offered me some supari (areca nut), which,on biting I realized, had zarda or tobacco. So I spit it out right away, but soon after I fainted. When I came to, I realized I could not talk and could not see from my right eye. The incident was thought of being due to stress, lack of food and that I was also breastfeeding my 3 month old baby boy at the time. I was unable to talk so never told anyone about my eye or speech. The next morning, I fainted again and my mother was called and she came by to take me to her house. On the 3rd day, my speech returned and that is when I told my mother about my loss of vision in one eye. We immediately went to the local eye clinic, where they examined the eye and told me there was no blood supply to the affected eye and that I should head back to Bombay for further check-up. I left my baby with my mom and headed for Bombay.
The Shock
When I returned to Bombay, the Opthamologist informed me that nothing could be done apart from prayers. I was sent home with a prayer book! My husband then suggested that we investigate what caused the fainting to begin with, so I went to my family friend and doctor who is actually an Endocrinologist. He sent me for a series of tests including blood, ECG, 2D ECHO, MRI etc. The tests revealed that I had a left-sided atrial tumor in my heart that was the size of a closed fist. It had probably been growing for a long time! I was around 34 years of age at the time. My doctor suggested I get operated on right away. I was whisked away to meet a Neurologist and Cardiac surgeon the same day. By this time, I was quite confused with the diagnosis and anxious about what would happen next.
The Cardiologist explained that my tumor was shaped like a mushroom, and the slight intake of tobacco triggered a blood rush that dislodged a part of it into the blood circulation. This embolus got stuck in an artery in the head, that stopped the blood supply to my eye and caused a Cerebral stroke. Since there was delayed medical intervention, the nerves to my left eye had died and I could never regain vision in that eye again. He further explained that the surgery would require that my heart be stopped for excision of the tumor. I was left heartbroken! I was scared and felt that this was the end. I called all my family, brother and husband who were out of town and wrote a Will! The following week, my surgery was scheduled. I was started on blood thinners and had several fainting spells the week preceding the surgery too.
It was a 7.5 hour long open-heart surgery and when I woke up, I had intense pain in my chest. I remember they made me walk the 2nd day and discharge me on the 4th day to go home. My mother showed me the excised tumor which was as big as the heart itself. After a week, the tumor biopsy results showed that it was a benign tumor but could have the tendency to grow again. Hence, I would have to get a 2D ECHO every 6 months for the rest of my life.
The after-effects
About 40 days post-surgery, I resumed work because I was getting quite depressed at home and needed to occupy my mind. The next 6 months were a haze; I was overwhelmed, sad, disconnected from my husband and kids, easily irritated, and uninterested in anything. I feel like I developed selective amnesia for those 6 months, I barely remember how my son went from 3 to 9 months. The only person I felt connected to at that time was my father. It was a tough time- emotionally and physically!
I used to do painting and pottery but after my loss of vision in one eye, I found it difficult to continue with my hobbies. I had trouble with spatial eye coordination and lost my depth perception, which meant I could not paint and would trip/fall often while walking. I have had to rush to the hospital due to 3 episodes of tachycardia. The first episode occurred 3 years post my surgery after a few glasses of wine at dinner. The 2nd episode was after a Chinese meal(possibly MSG) and the 3rd one after drinking diet coke (aspartame I suspect).
Painting once again
Currently I’m on Ecosprin, Calciferol, Omega-3 and Cobadex multivitamin capsule. I am told I can never stop Ecosprin (aspirin) which helps prevent blood clots, and must continue that lifelong. I have learned to do everything with my good eye now. A few years ago, my friends gifted me a canvas and I was compelled to paint again. It was tough at first and I had to use a magnifying glass for some detailing. It took me a while but I did finish the painting (see picture insert below). It now sits in my living room, a proud reminder of what I have been through and overcome. I also took up Astrology and that has kept me busy. I am now a full time mother and devote my time to my two kids, husband and my pug.
Count your blessings
Always count your blessings! My family doctor taught me that. Don’t lament on what is gone. He made me understand that loss of an eye was insignificant in the greater picture. I should be happy to have my loving family, my life and having recovered a stroke and tumour with minimal damage.
Also, if you have even the mildest of symptoms, don’t ignore it. I say this because in retrospect, I believe I had tachycardia (I had some rapid heart beats but it subsided soon) post-delivery of my first child which I dismissed. I also had pain in my fingertips 2 years before my diagnosis. I was living in Calcutta at the time and doctors never found anything wrong and thought it was vitamin deficiency. I wish I was in Mumbai and had done a more thorough investigation.
