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Submitted by PatientsEngage on 29 November 2019
A stock pic of a woman being supported by a caregiver

Manju, 64 from Vishakhapatnam met with a road accident 15 years ago and suffered a brain injury that left her bedridden and caused memory loss. Her husband shares the journey of their family and how they made changes in their lives to cope with the situation.

My wife was involved in a road accident in 2005. She had no external injuries apart from loss of a few teeth due to the collision. But she became unconscious and was immediately taken to the nearest hospital, given first aid and put on oxygen. and since then she has been bedridden and suffered memory loss.

After 45 days of treatment, the panel of doctors called for a meeting and made us understand she will not be normal again due to Diffuse Axonal Injury . She was on life support systems like ventilator, oxygen and other monitors attached to her. The ventilator was removed after 3 weeks. Judging from the eye movement and other responses the doctors had declared it as multiple contusions. With feed tube, they have fed her 100ML of liquid food in every three hours. With her sugar level constantly on the higher side no surgery could be planned immediately. Once these parameters were brought under control a surgery was performed to remove the contusion. A surgery was done at a point but it couldn't bring the desired results. In spite of the best medical care there was no positive outcome. Neurosurgeons and other panel of doctors had done their best. We sincerely thank them for helping us in many ways including accepting our payment mode. As no significant progress was made, it was advised to get her discharged to avoid financial strain on the family. The doctors advised us to give her the best home care and love

Setting Up Home Care

Initially it was very tough. Our routine got to be rearranged. We have rescheduled everything to suit to her needs. It took many months to cope with the changed situation. Changing clothes and diapers, giving her a bath - all were initially tough. With the therapists guidance, we learnt to handle her.

My two children (a daughter and a son) were with me for her. Later a conscious decision was taken by us to allow the children to go ahead and plan their carrier, since both of them are engineering graduates, which would also help the family sustain financially. We have to ensure that we give her medications on time.

Sometimes we used to work in shifts. When I have to go out to bring the necessities the children attend to her and take care of her.

Her present condition

She is stable but bedridden. She is totally immobile. We consulted people and other doctors after the incident and learnt DAI is incurable.

We have to feed her, give her bath, change the dress, using diapers to keep her hygiene level high. Her bones have lost the density. It is very tough for physiotherapists She cannot express her feelings nor can she talk. She has become like a few months old month baby after the incident.

She has long term memory loss. She does not remember anything. A rare smile on her face gives us momentary happiness.

Changes to our lifestyle

Life has turned upside down. I changed my job to suit the domestic requirement. I was in marketing department travelling regularly. Now I have switched to a different job which is located near my home

Emotional effect of her condition

Some days its draining. She cannot sleep on few days due to the stress she is in. At times we may have to change the soiled clothes more than few times due to unexplainable problems. Crying doesn't solve or change the situations.

I miss my wife. My world has fallen into silence.

What kept us going? How has this changed our perspectives in life?

The hardest part of caregiving was when our energy levels are low but she still had to be our priority.

What kept us going was her love for us when she was normal. And when we see her smile at times. We loved her more than anything. When mood swings happen in her, we use to cry and worry. Now with 15 years behind us, we have learnt to accept

Life can change in a wink of a moment. Learn to accept it