Skip to main content
Submitted by PatientsEngage on 5 November 2015

Depression is devastating, insidious, it can break up relationships and ruin friendships, but with the right tools and support, it can be beaten. Caring for a man who is suffering from depression can be even harder, because depression isn't often seen - it's felt. 

4 tips for a caregiver to balance your way through a mine field of defensiveness, denial, anger, and despondence

Tip #1 Understand His Depression "There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds." ― Laurell K. Hamilton

Depression is more than a feeling. Not only does it effect people on an emotional level but it also drains them physically and psychologically. That is why if your partner is depressed, he will be lacking the motivation to hit the gym or to pursue a once cherished hobby. With this in mind, the first thing you can do to help is make sure he is eating a balanced diet and is exercising. Buy fresh food, avoid stocking the fridge with highly caffeinated products and booze, and see if he will go walking with you. 

Tip #2 Acknowledging His Depression "Never ignore the elephant in the room. That's rude; play with it and introduce it." ― Donna Lynn Hope

Confronting his depression will be tough but is absolutely necessary if you are going to help reverse its course. The goal is to show him that you acknowledge he is going through something and that asking for help is okay. 

  • Approach him where he is comfortable, at home or maybe your favorite date spot. Make sure you have privacy and enough time to talk (at least an hour).
  • Tell him you noticed he has been "feeling down" lately. Avoid using the word "depressed" because it could trigger the walls to go straight up. Bring up examples in a gentle way.
  • Explain your mutual goal - you BOTH want him to feel better.
  • Depressed men feel isolated in their pain and hopelessness. Explain that asking for help is a sign of strength not of weakness.

Tip #3 Self Care "The Best Health Care Plan Is A Self Care Plan" ― Nina Leavins

"In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your own mask first, and then assist the other person."

If you've ever been on an airplane you've likely heard some iteration these words.  If you are incapacitated you won't be of any help to anyone. The same goes for caring for a man with depression. You need to secure your own mental stability before you can help him.

Because of the nature of depression he won't be as connected or invested in your relationship as he was when he was healthy. He might become more combative or more withdrawn, depending on how the depression affects him. Don't get pulled into this or take it personally. Do what you need to do to stay healthy. Connect with friends, exercise, or shop - you have an identity outside of your relationship.

Tip #4 Involve the Professionals

Getting professional medical personnel involved is the most critical step as it is the most effective way to cure the depression. Here are some ways to make it easier:

  • Ask him to do it for you or your family.
  • Tell him it will bring you peace of mind if he sees someone.
  • See the right doctor - Ask if you can set up an appointment with your family doctor so they can go over the problem. It will be an easier push for him to see a family doc as oppose to a "shrink."
  • Call ahead - Tell the doctor what his symptoms have been. Your testimony might bring up things your partner could miss or will neglect to share.

To read the complete article: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/austin-klise/4-strategies-to-help-men-get-through-depression_b_8303160.html

Condition

Stories

  • A stock pic of partially visible person sitting in a consult session with a partially visible counsellor with a note book in her hand. In front of them is a table with a glass of water and a box of tissues
    काउन्सलिंग क्या है? क्या यह मेरे लिए उपयोगी होगी?
    सबके जीवन में चुनौतियाँ होती हैं। कभी-कभी चुनौतियाँ आप को अभिभूत कर सकती हैं और हो सकता है कि इनसे मुकाबला करने के आपके सामान्य तरीके काम नहीं कर रहे हों। तनुजा बाबरे एक काउन्सलिंग साईंकोलोजिस्ट हैं जो वर्तमान में आईकल टीआईएसएस में प्रोग्राम कोऑर्डिनेटर के रूप में कार्यरत हैं।  इस लेख में वे काउंसलर/ थेरापिस्ट के रोल के बारे में बात करती हैं और यह बताती हैं कि आप सही काउंसलर और सही प्रकार की काउन्सलिंग सर्विस के बारे में कैसे निर्णय ले सकते हैं। जीवन की घटनाएँ, चाहे सकारात्मक हों या…
  • Image Description: An elderly person with a walker and supported by a caregiver
    बुजुर्गों में अकसर दिखने वाले ऐसे 12 लक्षण जो गंभीरता से लेने चाहियें
    वजन का बेवजह घटना, याददाश्त की समस्याएँ, कमजोरी और गहरी थकान जैसे लक्षणों को "सामान्य उम्र बढ़ने" की प्रक्रिया न समझें - ये किसी गंभीर समस्या का संकेत हो सकते हैं । इस लेख में डॉ शीतल रावल ऐसे 12  लक्षणों के बारे में बता रही हैं जो बुजुर्गों में अकसर पाए जाते हैं पर जिन्हें अनदेखा करने के बजाय आपको डॉक्टर की राय लेनी चाहिए।  वही लक्षण जो एक युवा व्यक्ति में एक कारण से हो सकते हैं वे बुजुर्गों में दूसरे कारणों से हो सकते हैं।  युवा व्यक्ति में शायद वे इतने गंभीर न हों, पर बुज़ुर्ग…
  • Announcing Live Webinar Series in English and Hindi on Steps To Emotional Health
    Steps To Emotional Health During The Pandemic
    We are all struggling with various issues during this second wave of the pandemic. PatientsEngage has started a live webinar series every Tuesday (English) and every Thursday (Hindi) at 7pm IST with experienced counsellors who will help us understand what we are going through and share practical and actionable tips on what we can do about it. In the first of the series on 11th May 7pm IST, we spoke with experienced Psychologist Hvovi Bhagwagar on what we can to deal with the negative news…
  • Every Depression Episode Is A Learning Experience
    Sangeetha Param, 26 a mental health advocate continues to deal with depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and has survived suicide attempts. She talks about her relapses and her inner struggles to stay afloat. She is also a motivational speaker.  **Trigger Warning - reference to self harm** Sangeetha Param had previously shared her journey from diagnosis to mental health advocate here  How did the latest relapse begin? Was it sudden or gradual? The relapse…
  • How Can We Promote Wellbeing Of Our Children
    Jumana Rajkotwala, Counselling Psychologist addresses questions on the challenges faced by children especially in pandemic times and the steps parents can take to help children be healthy and feel connected in these times.  What according to you are the biggest challenges that children face today? Children, in recent times, have limited physical activity and increased online interests, this has taken a turn for the worse during the pandemic as kids have been stuck at home. One of the…
  • 3 lifestyle habits to manage depression
    3 Lifestyle Changes to Manage Depression (Posters)
    Depression and chronic conditions have a cyclical effect. Those with chronic illness are more susceptible to it and those with depression have a higher risk of other medical issues. It is important to prioritize physical self-care such as exercise, sleep and nutrition, exercise in order to break this cycle and push away the black cloud of depression.   1. Exercise as an anti-depressant 2.Sleep Routines For Mental Health 3. Importance of Good Nutrition     For more details read…
  • आत्महत्या संबंधी कुछ आम धारणाएं और सच्चाइयां
    विश्व आत्महत्या रोकथाम दिवस (वर्ल्ड सुसाइड प्रिवेंशन डे) के अवसर पर, पारस शर्मा, प्रोग्राम कोऑर्डिनेटर, आइकॉल साइकोसोशल हेल्पलाइन, टाटा इंस्टीट्यूट ऑफ सोशल साइंसेज (TISS) आत्महत्या के बारे में कुछ आम गलतफहमियों को दूर करते हैं। 1.  जो लोग आत्महत्या के बारे में बात करते हैं, वे आमतौर पर आत्महत्या नहीं करते हैं, वे केवल ध्यान आकर्षित करना चाहते हैं। आत्महत्या मदद की एक ऐसी पुकार है जिसपर किसी ने ध्यान नहीं दिया है। यह सोचना गलत है कि जो लोग सचमुच अपने जीवन को समाप्त करना चाहते हैं वे स्पष्ट…
  • A woman in a red dress on the phone and holding her head in distress
    "जब कोई मेरी बात बिना आलोचना किये सुनता है, तो बहुत अच्छा लगता है"
    दो ऐसे बयान पढ़ें जो ऐसे लोगों ने साझा करे हैं जिन्होंने आत्महत्या का प्रयास करा था पर असफल रहे। हम उनकी आप-बीती आपका ध्यान इस बात पर आकर्षित करने के लिए पेश कर रहे हैं ताकि आप यह देखें कि यदि परिवार वाले और मित्र थोड़ी सी संवेदना और सहानुभूति दिखाएं तो कई आत्महत्या के प्रयास रोके जा सकते हैं। दोनों स्थितियों में आत्महत्या का प्रयास करने वालों के अनुभव से दिखता है कि वे चाहते थे कि कोई उनकी बात बिना आलोचना के, बिना मूल्यांकन किए सुनता। ट्रिगर वार्निंग (चेतावनी: कुछ लोग इस लेख की सामग्री से परेशान…
  • A man in a suit and with his work bag, sitting on steps, looking downwards and worried
    चिन्ता और डिप्रेशन कम करने के १२ नुस्खे
    कैम गिलर, संज्ञानात्मक व्यवहार मनोचिकित्सक, चिन्ता और अवसाद का सामना करने के आसान नुस्खे बताती हैं । साथ ही, अपने दिमाग की नकारात्मक आवाज़ को कैसे रोका जा सकता है क्या आप उदास, चिंतित, नकारात्मक महसूस कर रहें हैं ? निम्नलिखित कूट नीतियां  आपको इन भावनाओं का बेहतर सामना करने और खुश रहने में मदद करेंगी। 1.   अपने लिए कुछ समय निकालें धीमी गति से सांस लें, आराम करें, संगीत सुनें, ध्यान करें, मालिश कराऐं, या विश्राम  तकनीकें सीखें। समस्या से पीछे हटने से दिमाग को शांति मिलती है।…
  • A framed pic of young teen boy
    It Is Time To Stop Getting Uncomfortable About Grief
    We have to break the silence surrounding grief, especially around death by suicide, and learn to deal with sorrow in a healthy and sensitive manner, writes psychologist Chandra Ramamurthy. I am a Clinical Psychologist by training. I lost my son, Naman Dutt, age 17 years, by possible suicide. The reason why I say possible suicide is because the circumstances of his death still baffle me. Naman was diagnosed with depression and though I have seen severe clinical depression in my practice, I never…